~If You Grateful You are Beautifull ~

Asian people want to make their skin whiter and the otherwise the western always jealous with the color of Asian people…. They said it’s so exotic. I guess that's human nature, they always dream something that they don’t have. They like something different than what common. For Asian, it's very common to find one with dark skin, they consider "dark" related to "lack" of treatment, poor, labor, etc, etc….:)

Alhamdulillah Islam teach us to care about inside…[it doesn’t mean outside is not important, we should look beautiful too].

There should be a time we stop dreaming and just be grateful what we have… when we want a pretty shoes or dreaming particular shoes like what other have, … it's better we see other who do not have or do not wear shoes…We will feel grateful for what we have.

Perhaps our skin are dark… but it's better than albino, if our eyes are not really nice but it's better than blind… these legs are not so sexy but better than one who do not have legs… We are very rich…always rich when know how to grateful ….

I remember to one sister that I met almost 10 year ago, here in my city - when I was in high school. I remember at the first time I saw her; she was walking confidently although she needs crutch to help her. I think she was attacked by poliovirus when she was child. She is not tall, not slim and not really pretty, but can bring a peace to anyone who sees her. At that time she was invited to give a speech in our gathering. That was long times ago……

Then about few years back, I read about her. She was invited in one big gathering. She told the audience her life stories that made all the audience couldn’t help tearing. She said since her teenager time -- when she started realize about her legs, she only has one obsession in her life, that is to make anyone who see her saying tasbih (subhanallah), to make anyone who see her remember the greatness of Allah SWT, to make anyone who see her become closer to Allah SWT.

She tried to use her disabilities to bring people to remember Allah. She doesn’t make her disability to make people pity her. Nowadays She is known as one of outstanding da’iyyah in my city.

She said anytime people meet her they must see her legs, they said "subhanallah", when she could go to high school and completed it with good grade, people said "subhanallah" and then she continued her study to university, when people see a disable girl could go to university, people said "subhanallah", and then they saw she could complete it they said "subhanallah". And then when a normal handsome, educated man proposed her for married, people got astonish and once again they said "subhanallah"… Allahu akbar!

People thought what a defect girl could give for her husband, they were in doubt she could have baby, how could she afforded had child if she seem even didnt able to care herself. But Allah blessed her with babies. I saw her picture and her family in magazine few years ago and she already had 3 wonderful kids; all health and cute. Once again people only can say "subhanallah"….. She indeed makes people praise Allah SWT….

This makes me remember some of other great people in Islam.

Subhanallah, blindness was not being obstacle for Syeikh Abdul Aziz bin Baz to reach her fate to be one of the prominent scholars in this century. The deaf also couldn’t stop Musthafa Shadiq Al-Rafi’i as the great Moslem literature in this century. We still remember clearly how Syeikh Ahmad Yasin gained his syahid. He was paralyze and spent whole his life in wheel chair, but he able to lead HAMMAS and being spirit of the struggle in Palestine until today. If we see his figure we couldn’t believe Israel afraid to him.

In the time Rasulullah, we know a blind companion Abdullah bin Ummi Maktum offered himself to hold the flag in a war. He said with his blindness he couldn’t see anyone then no one could make him afraid… he bravely came to the battle and gained his syahid. They found him but couldn’t recognize anymore because so many wounds.. Subhanallah….

Otherwise there are so many “normal”, “gift” people who even do not know how to grateful what they have; grateful in the sense to use all the bounties that Allah SWT has gifted to be used in the way that Allah has ordered. There are so many who expose their beauty cheaply.

People absolutely will die one day, but there are many who choose die with shameful way. Nowadays it’s not strange anymore to find young girls or boys die because of over doses, suicide, fighting among the gangsters, etc. There are many our young generations who lost their identity, being a blind follower or just be a Moslem because born in devotes conventional traditional family.

We have to grateful for whatever our condition. Allah always has his wisdom in his creation. If we are not beautiful, this is become a natural selection to get rid them who value the beauty are important. If we were health and beautiful maybe we would tempt to be a super model. When we were bit taller and prettier people would say, you would be good be a model.

Remember the tragic story of Christina Onassis, she was rich, she was beautiful, there were many men adored her, she moved from one man to another man, married four times and divorced all each less than 2 years but she never felt happy in her life, and many people believe she ended her life miserable without able to taste the true love. Every man who closed to her just adored her wealth, her beauty and she totally felt empty inside. Sometimes when you are gifted with such attractiveness, hardly to find people who really sincere would see you inside without delude with outside appearance.

For my dear fellow sisters [and brothers] who feel not beautiful / handsome, you still have chance to be one of the miracles in this world. You have been accepting hard trials whole your life, and still have to face them for the rest of your life, only people who have courage and big heart that can persevere. You have many qualities that can’t buy.

You are not “an ordinary” person, and someone who could hand your hand must be not an ordinary one too [extra ordinary one], someone with great sincerity that could see the beauty of your souls, a sincerity that across the sky that make Allah SWT proud of him to the angle in heaven.

It’s nice to be humble but please don’t belittle yourself and don’t belittle a one who able to accept you whatever you are. Perhaps he one of that extraordinary one who wants to use you as his/her “short way” to gain jannah…

Wallahualam bishshowab

PS : Some of the stories were special compose for one of my beloved sisters who indeed an extraordinary beautiful.... I hope she not mind I share it to other, insyaAllah….

Rytha

Bandung

Tue Dec 14, 2004

~Then the Angle will not belittle us: "Oh what a man he is !'~

He always jumps straight away to welcome me, even if he was sleeping so tightly. He just run with eyes that even not opened completely yet. He will run toward me anytime I come out from my room, anytime I will enter the front door [back from somewhere], or he run leave all his friends right away anytime he saw me, doesn’t care how he was enjoying play with them…

Today he walked toward me with cripple legs…..I had told him to stay in his place, continue sleeping....but he kept running toward me, I had to embrace him and made him back to sleep, but instead of continue sleeping he followed me. He got an accident and made on of his legs swollen, he got fever for few days. But still he did enthusiasm anytime he saw me… he would always run toward me and patiently follow me wherever I go. He would cry if I enter my bedroom and not let him come inside… So sometimes, I let him sleep beside me….

In the morning…. when I walked out from my bedroom… he would jump and welcome me… I embraced him and we talked for couple of minutes, then he sit silently looking me cooking for breakfast. This holy month he didn’t mind to wake up early [doesn’t care how sleepy he is]. He would not move anywhere before I finished all my stuffs in the kitchen.

If I didn’t see him run it must be something wrong with him, that mean he is really sick, couldn’t wake or he slept out of house and nobody notice it he was outside. Sometimes I tried to not make any noise because I afraid to disturb his sleeping [he is very cute while he is sleeping], because I know he would run to me if he notice me…..

We do always have great time together; there is a special bond between us. Anytime I am working at my computer he sits in front of me [on the monitor] staring at me [make me feel “something” as if I was the most beautiful girl in the world], or he would just sit beside me silently. He always recognizes my voice even if he was playing some far away. He will try to come in soon, or sometimes he just show kind of _expression as if want to tell me if he wants I the one who came to embrace him.

One day there was a new comer. He was jealous of her, he didnt let me close or touch her. But through the time he accepted her, even they became friends each other very soon. That new comer too aggressive, she even ate his food and steal the attention and loves all. All people in house love her, she is so cute, so lively, then anyone seem started forget him.

Sometimes I saw him sit silently with his gloomy eyes when he saw my sisters playing with that new comer and ignored him. Even if she already made him lost many things, he welcomes her finally. They played together, he let her ate his food, I saw he used to wait until she finished eating and eat what she left [sometimes I kept her away from him, give him extra food so he could eat in relax]. I guess he loved her …..

When she gone, I felt he was sad for couple of days… I guess he must be miss her. But then he got new friend; our neighbor who often come to visit and also always eat his food. He just let her do anything. She likes him so much, and seem try to tease him anytime, as if she want he chase her, run after her.. but he is so calm… he is just different.

Nodaway… It seem the season of married… that neighbor try to expose all her charming to attract him. She tried to tease him at least to make him notice her present even when he was sleeping… she tried to be funny… to be flirt or perhaps tried to look beautiful, tried anything to capture his heart… but most of time he just ignore her… just sometimes he responsed her. In fact it seem she is the most beautiful girl in our neighborhood, and many who run after her… but she seem has pride, she even did refuse them [think of that made me so wonder… how could she thinks to choose with whom she likes to end up…]

You guys must think that I am talking about “a great man in great human world”, no at all… I am talking about my cat and his cat world [this is very real story]. Subhanallah… he made me learn a lot of things, the loyalty, love, peace, friendship, patience, etc etc….

All he knows perhaps only eat, sleep and play… but he did show me how to eliminate his jealousy, how to share with other, how to care his pride, etc

Gee a cat has pride… surprise!… He didn’t take all “chances” randomly…[from girls [cats] who trying tease him] and even it’s amaze me they didn’t like to marry randomly [I don’t know if they set some standard like human do].. but for sure they choose…. They do not think as far that is a boy.. then ok.. or as far that girl… then ok… it’s very amazing when see how a girl [cat] refused some boys [cats] but then with another one she seem so prepare]…

If only you watch how they sleep subhanallah you could see such peace world. Most of time they are fighting each other, never stop run and chase each other, fight and tease each other, but in the night, they could sleep side by side so calmly and peacefully…. They seem forget anything, seem no hate, no revenge, no pain, perhaps that what called “forget” and forgiveness to life in peace… If only we human could learn from them....

He makes me feel so special. In fact all what I do only feed him, but he gives me a lot of love back, subhanallah.

How many of us already showered by love, care from our mother [parents, beloved ones] but do we act better than him [ my cat]…. Many of us even not sensitive enough to catch the care and love from our close people. Some even yell to their parents, and think that very normal. They are our beloved people but we also did hurt them often

Now imagine.. How many husbands [HUMAN] who will love to do such of thing like my cat do… company cooking… follow you any where….. and always want to be close with you…Even leave his friends when he is playing / chit chat…. That cat is just amazing.. believe me.. he always jump straight away anytime he saw me… especially when I was entering home from somewhere [it like I feel he missing me a lot]….

He knows how to win one love. One of my brother really hate cat, anytime “My cat" around, he always yell “I don’t want this cat close to me!!!”…. He would move or he would tell him to go… He was rude to him. But My cat instead of being angry...he kept trying to be closer, he keep some distance… but he keep follow him… and even when my brother awake till late night.. He accompanied him silently and kept awake whole night too [he seemed watch my brother sinlently]. Agh… his expressions always so cute… subhanallah [especially he looked try to keep awake]… Eventually he captures my brother heart!!

The funny things, when he made mistake, he always run to hide… but then slowly he would come back to see what he did [broke the vase]… and show us how he felt sorry [of course we saw it from his face]… subhanallah…

He just has instinct, but that enough to make him know who loves him sincerely….

My another brother always fight with him… my cat scared to death with him. it’s enough he just said a word “manis” [it's his name] he would understand if he had to silent or had to go down from the table… When my brother order him to sleep or do not move anywhere… he really would not move and stay beside him [with his funny face – of scared]… subhanallah…

He has his own language to show if he happy, if he hungry, if he mad..… when he happy he will bite my legs and run after me…poor human sometimes do not understand his language, we tend to act so rude, hit him or yell to him.. Once I did that.. and I felt so sorry, he showed me a face as if he wanted to tell me "I just wanna play with you? Why you angry to me "… that’s true if we let him bite.. he will not really bite….. Sometimes he just try to attract the attention and want we chase him…

Imagine such simple creature that Allah swt just gave “instinct” could behave perfectly. Subhanallah, human are bestowed with heart and brain, and they should act better.

But sadness, many of human become soulless, their intellect bring them to a live lower than animal they blind, deaf, and they could be turn become the cruelest and the most devil creature on earth. They are so greedy, unjust and destroy other life… Allah says : "Thou wilt indeed find them, of all people, most greedy of life,-even more than the idolaters: Each one of them wishes He could be given a life of a thousand years: But the grant of such life will not save him from (due) punishment. For Allah sees well all that they do" [HQ 2:96]

“And when it is said unto them: Make not mischief in the earth, they say: We are peacemakers only.” [HQ.2:11]

“Are not they indeed the mischief-makers ? But they perceive not.” [HQ.2:12]

This perhaps which made angle wonder why Allah created human…. “Behold, thy Lord said to the angels: "I will create a vicegerent on earth." They said: "Wilt Thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood?- whilst we do celebrate Thy praises and glorify Thy holy (name)?" He said: "I know what ye know not." [HQ 2:30]

Allah swt already so kind to us, always give what we want, even He trust us to be a vicegerent in this earth, but many of us tend to be injustice and ingratitude….

“He giveth you of all that ye ask for. But if ye count the favors of Allah, never will ye be able to number them. Verily, man is given up to injustice and ingratitude.” [HQ 14:34]

At least lets try to ponder what arround us.. we even can learn from a cat . Allah subhana wata'ala says :

Behold! in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day,- there are indeed Signs for men of understanding, Men who celebrate the praises of Allah, standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and contemplate the (wonders of) creation in the heavens and the earth, (With the thought): "Our Lord! not for naught Hast Thou created (all) this! Glory to Thee! Give us salvation from the penalty of the Fire. [HQ 3:190-191]

Do they not travel through the land, so that their hearts (and minds) may thus learn wisdom and their ears may thus learn to hear? Truly it is not their eyes that are blind, but their hearts which are in their breasts. [HQ 22:46]

Allah swt tell us to contemplate, because He always creates things for reasons and anything that happened in this universe for reasons [none that happened by “chance” or “accident”]… then in the same time Allah asked us if we travel and see a lot but “do we really use our heart and mind to learn the wisdom?”…. Allah said, some of us not blind [our eyes not blind] but our heart sometimes blind and actually this the “real” blindness… that why we see many injustices and the destruction on earth….anything that only accepted by eyes and mind but not reach “the heart” it will mean nothing… that why we find many knowledge people… but their knowledge not bring benefit for him/herself nor for other… because it not reach “the heart”….

Human beings are very complicated; they have so many sides of personalities and can experience so many emotions at the same time [sometimes it easier to understand cat – even if they are complete different from us]. Cat [animal] they only have “instinct” but somehow that make them can accept things like whatever they “feel”, they “see”. When human give love, they just accept it and feel it, then they behave nicely [even in some extend can make you feel like the most precious person in the world, they can make you feel so special – with their innocent feedback]…..

The otherwise, human beings who are bestowed with mind, soul, heart, they often being tricked by their own mind. They tend to be suspicious easily [think what mean behind that love, how deep it is, how to prove it, etc], or they tend to be greedy [ask more and more “love”, “attention”, “affection”, etc], they tend to be ungrateful, jealousy, etc. They use their mind sometimes to imagine or to think something that even unthinkable…

Perhaps we need learn from “a cat” then the angle will not belittle us….'Oh what a man he is !'… "Wilt Thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood?”

Perhaps we need to liberate sometimes from that complication… just sharpen our heart to accept and to feel things just like whatever it is….. Wallahu’alam bishshowab….

Rytha

Bandung

Tuesday Oct 19, 2004

~My Dear Nervous Sister ~

My Dear sister who overwhelming with sweetness of faith.
My dear sister whose heart captivate with the light of ma'rifah
My Dear sister who are reaching the peak spirit of learning
My Dear sister who thirsting of knowledge the deen
My Dear sister who occupied with the passion of worship…

My dear nervous sister ….
Scared of accepting the wrong person who would extinct the enthusiasm flame
Scared of accepting the fake person who would destroy your ultimate dreaming
Scared of accepting the one who trapped your heart with another love
Scared to the one who could lead you astray…
Scared to lost the blessing of Allah …
Scared to lost he light of guidance that can't be replaced by the whole of world
Scared to lost the sweetness of faith that can't be replaced with all the treasure

My dear sister
Allah will answer your prayers….
Allah knows best your sincerity …
Allah listen the crying of your heart..
Allah will always protect you….
He the Only one you lays your trust

Your dreams of
The one who devote practicing mu'min
The one whose heart fixed upon remembrance of his Lord
The one whose tongue always moaning the beautiful name of Allah
The one whose eyes wakeful in the silent night tearing humbly closely to his Lord..

The one who love Qur'an
The one who instill the light of Qur'an in every aspect of his life
The one who love his deen more than anything
The one who proudly say Islam the only way that dominate his heart, mind and his attitude….
The one who dream to die in that way fisabilillah…

The one who love the sunnah……
Must have beard [it must…that you said :)]
Must love to pray in mosque…
The one who not occupy with the idle activities…

The one who respect your veil…
The one who will protect you from evil…

The one who will accept you completely
The one who can see the deepest of your heart
The one who value what lies inside more than your facial beauty

The one who respect you as a partner of life
The one who trust you more than anyone
The honest one who will company the journey sailing in the ocean of life

The one who patience with your horribleness…
The one who will give chance of self improve than blame of every details of your weakness..
The one who can keep smiling when advice you with the eye of affection and tenderness
The one who speak wisely words full of wisdom as support and encouragement

The one who will lead you to the beauty of deen
The one who will be the teacher of your life…
The one who put you in the second of place in his heart after His Lord…

You're yearning to be a queen of one's heart….
The one who will put you always beside him….never leave you behind

The one who lead you to the best destination of jannah
The one who will race with you to win the eternal love of the owner of the love
The one who will spark the water to wake up you for qiyamul lail
The one who will sit with every Monday and thurday for shaum sunnah…
The one who will make your house full of blessing with his quranic recitation..

Simple humble…reliable… responsible and mature… who be whatever he is…

My dear sis,
You found the behalf that will make you complete… inshaAllah
Your dream inshaAllah finally will come true… in very soon….
Lahaula walla quwata illabillah

InshaAllah
He will in the first line to defense your honor
He will speak for the world…to protect you
He will help you from all the cultural ritualism
He will safe you from all those "stupid" ceremonies
He will there…as a real Moslem manWho love his deen more than his culture…

InshaAlalh
He is a strong man
To stop people drawing your face with those colorful make up
To stop replace your modest hijab with the most recent hair style
He will be there …
To stop people force you wearing the tight fitting fancy dress…
He will be there …
To stop them put the sparking jewelry

InshaAllah
He will be there to make all people understand
He will be there…..beside you
Like an angle that Allah sends from the sky
To support you …to make you strong…
Release you from the guilty feeling of reveling of your beauty
Release you from the sin of abusing the sunnah
He will be there …. make sure nobody force you to do thing abusing the deen that you love dearly

InshaAllah
He will be there….
He will tell all loudly …proudly
You are his wife
You will not let you go to the stage…like a cutie Barbie
His ghirah, his love will make you a precious pearl
As a Shield of your beauty from the stranger' eyes..

He will feel what you feel…
You free from the duty of smiling to the strangers
You no need to sake their hands
You will not feeling like a real hypocrite reveal what you want to conceal

InshaAllah
He will be there understand every beat of you heart
Every dream in your mind
To life in the shade quran wa sunnah…

My Dear sister who yearning the mercy of Allah subhana wata'ala
My Dear sister who yearning blessing of Allah subhana wata'ala
One has been decreed for you…
You will accept what you deserve…

Subhanallah Allamdulillah… la Ialha illah Allahu akbar…Barakallah wabaraka alaika wa jamaa baynakaum fi khair …

PS :My dear sisters you are marrying a human
He is not an angle…
Nobody perfect….
You MUST find his flaws….
It all about the journey to be tolerant…
To give more than demand…

Bandung, 15th May 2005
Rytha

Dedicate to some great sisters who have shared

~Who said Islam doesn't even mention or consider "love" for marriage? ~

Long time ago a sister wrote :

Good manners are important, but the prophet Jesus taught the world that among all the laws Allah sent down to man, none was greater than love your brother as yourself. Love was the greatest attribute man could develop because with that, all the rest would follow.

The fairness, the justice, the peace in the world. If man loved his brother there would be no need to command not to steal, kill, covet another man's wife because those things would not even occur to someone who had love for others inside him.

What bothers me even more is that Islam says you marry a woman for her beauty, status (family lineage), wealth or religion if only one of these things are present. Love is not even mentioned, when it was the greatest gift presented to all mankind, that if a man should start to digress, his wife would be his helper to remind him to fulfill his spiritual jihad. Yet Islam does not even mention, or consider this for marriage, WHY?

My respose to her :

Dear Gina…

Assalammu'alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

Who told you Islam doesn't even mention or consider "love" for marriage??

At time person decide to marry…at time they choose someone to end up…. That must be based on love…. No matter what's the reasons…. That is love…

If that person marry a woman for her beauty… that his decision… that his choice… because he "loves" beauty

If that person marry a woman for her status [family lineage]… he chose it because he thinks status [family lineage] thing which he "loves" most

If that person marry a woman because of her wealth. That he is… that base on his love to find the short way to be rich [a choice for them who lazy even to move their fingers]… he doesn't care that tarnish his dignity as a man…

If that person marry a woman for her religion… that his choice because he think religion is all what he wants….

Love something because of any [mundane] reasons …..that love that will disappear when the reasons gone…..Love that will fade when one has got "the intentions"….

Anytime…when Islam talks about love, it will be always said… the highest love in Islam is love for the sake of Allah…. Love of between human is next after you love Allah and his messengers….

According the teaching of our beloved prophet sallahu alaihi wassallam….Islam put love of your brothers just like you love yourself as a condition to reach the "perfection" of faith,

Rasulullah salallahi walaihi wassalam said ,"None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.[Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.12 Narrated byAnas]

There are so many similar hadist

So when decide to marry one of your brother in Islam… the reason of Love should have been already included in that automatically… As you shouldn't hate your brother in faith… You have responsibility to love him just like you love yourself… a responsibility among believers to hold the commitments… as it's sacred for us his property, his blood and his honor….

………."Verily! Your blood, propertyand honor are sacred to one another (i.e. Muslims)……[Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.67 Narrated by Abdur Rahman bin Abi Bakras father]

People love because they organically…it's part of genuine fitrah and a sign of the good heart….if you can fall in love with a cute "chicken", "cat"….pets…. logically it very fitrah [natural] if there is love, admiration, affection, with your fellow "human".

It like wha Allah subhana wa ta'ala says :"Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet:Women and sons;Heaped-up hoards of gold and silver;horses branded (for blood and excellence);and (wealth of) cattle and well-tilled land.Such are the possessions of this world's life;but in nearness to Allah is the best of the goals (To return to)."[Qur'an Ali Imram 3:14]

Islam really really "cares" the purity of heart in any sense…. Islam not denying the right of people the right to love, but it is about asking the question "WHAT IS NEXT? " If you can't control it… it can destroy you … Compassion and affection has nothing to do with bad morality. While what Islamic morality is about the actions, which follow that feelings.

Perhaps we talk about love in different perception ….

Love in Islam not about "disobedience" and not about something which stuck all things….

Marriage in islam not based on the " blind" love…..

It is not…….. "I am not stupid, I am not blind….but I am in love" …Iit's not love which you read/see in story of Leila & majnum, Romeo & Juliet, San Pek & Eng tai, Boolywood and Hollywood movies……

Love in Islam is not merely love or "crush" that based on temporary things like (beauty, treasure, passions or any mundane things), but have to based on the awareness to responsibility in front of his Lord…. the responsibility to care the commitment.

Love in Islam is not something to do about "a romance gaze" [lustful gaze]

Say to the believing men that they should lower their gazeand guard their modesty:that will make for greater purity for them:And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gazeand guard their modesty;that they should not display their beautyand ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof.....[Qur'an An Nur 24: 30-31]

Love in Islam is not something to do about "love touches '"… or physically contact

"It is better for one of you be pricked in the head with an iron pickthan to touch a woman it is unlawful to touch"[Reported by At-Tabarani and Al Bayhaqi]

Love in Islam is not something to do about share "sweet talks", "inner desires" "wild imagination"

"Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably.The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing),the adultery of the tongue is the talk,and the inner self wishes and desiresand the private parts testify all this or deny it."[Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.260 Narrated by Ibn Abbas]

Love in Islam is not something to do about "spending time together"

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,"Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."[Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab]

To care the purity of that love itself…. Even Allah subhana wata'ala says

Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil,opening the road (to other evils).[Qur'an Al Isra' 17:36]

In Islam, marriage is the only institution where man and woman [non mahram] may enjoy the closeness , it is a sacred institution,....to find tranquility…love and compassion…..like what Allah has described

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves,that ye may dwell in tranquility with them,and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts):verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.[Qur'an Ar Ruum 30:21]

…….They are your garments and ye are their garments…… [Qur'an Al Baqaarah 2:187]

Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah….. [Qur'an Al Baqaarah 2:223]

Marriage also considered as complete half of deen [religion] as part of Ibadah [righteous deeds]…..that why have to initiate with an intention to find Ridho Allah SWT [to pleasure Allah].

That love will be a strong foundation of marriage if that love grows in obedience and the frame to worship and to pleasure Allah swt. It said…. Mawaddah [or love that exist/grow between human because of any certain bond or interest] will be only remain in the first few years of marriage..… , the rest years they mostly remain together with the "Rohmah" [The love of Allah… The gracious of Allah to His creatures…. An endless love that bestowed to the heart of believers who love and gather for His sake…. For with the bond of faith and obedience to worship Him….love beyond of any other love]…. For this reason… in Islam… love has to for the sake of Allah…

Dear Gina… I don't know if you are a Moslem or non Moslem…. If you are a non Moslem.. May Allah guides you to the light of Islam… then in the day of Judgment inshaAllah we will be among of them who will be gathered with love for the sake of Allah…..

Just like what Allah says in one of hadist Qudsi :

Where are those who love one another through My glory?Today I shall give them shade in My shade,it being a day when there is no shade but My shade.[Hadith Qudsi 23]

I only share you what I know….. They could be right and could be wrong… if I make mistake inshaAllah brothers and sisters here will correct me…

All the truth must be from Allah…. And I ask the forgiveness from Allah subhana wata'ala for all the mistakes…

Wallahu alam bishshowab….

Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaikaWassallamu'alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

Bandung 15 ,May 2005

Fi aman AllahRytha

~Whenever I saw him~

He is :

Whenever I saw him, I would say: He is the most handsome of men
When he spoke, I would say: He is the most eloquent of men
When he held a conversation, I would say: He is the most knowledgeable of men…


He is :

Whenever I saw him, I would say : He is the most horrible of men
When he spoke, I would say : He is shooting the poison arrow
When he held a conversation, I would say : He make the world seem so small
He snatches smiles from your face…
He seem a man who never see the world..
Whenever you sit with him you feel want to fight him..
He is the worse person who hide his sins

This paragraph is the saying of Masruq ibn al Ajda about the beloved prophet companion…..Abdullah ibn Abbas radiyallahu an.. a young man with the ocean knowledge … The best picture of a young Moslem man that was found in his beautiful character…his respect to the older companions…his spirit to collect knowledge and his present who always enlighten other.

In contrary the second paragraph is the saying of my friend… that his impression about some Moslem people nowadays…He closed those sentences by saying…. “I want to let you know that I do not want you be one of them”….. “ Ataghfiruka wa atubu ilaika…

He said that for reason… perhaps that the real picture of our young Moslem nowadays… wallahu alam…

Indeed we lack of knowledgeable people who really practice what they preach, who really talk from bottom of heart, who are not only eloquence in speech but also practise, not only on tongue but the values also dominate and control their heart and mind …… There are many who in the high spirit to fight the bid’ah, inviting to the right aqeedah, but conduct the “rude”, “harsh” way, cursing, and stripping all the detail of aib his brother in front of many people [contrast with the way Rasulullah sallaAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam invited people to monotheism].

Rasullah sallahu alaihi wassalam our qudwah said :

“The religion is easy and whosoever will deal with religion harshly, it will defeat him. So be straight, follow the middle course, give good news and seek help by moving in the morning or the evening or part of the night.” [HR Bukhari ]

Allah subhana wata’ala says : Thus have We made of you a Middle Ummah, that you might be witnesses over the people, and the Messenger a witness over yourselves… [Qur’an al-Baqarah 2:143]

There are many of young Moslem who spend their day and night to spread fitnah, to curse, to judge, name calling, each other instead prepare to wake up earlier in the 1/3rd last of night. they miss their time to do tagharub with their Lord… they miss the time to refresh their soul with tilawah…with nawafil.. Hence whatever they said would be felt as an arrangement of empty words that touch nowhere… said things without soul.. But leave more confusion and caste the shadow inside other heart.

MashaAllah May Allah safe all of us from make the difficulty for other…. As Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wassalam said :

‘Whoever does a good deed in order to show off, Allaah will expose his intentions on the Day of Ressurection (before the people), and whoever puts the people into difficulties, Allaah will put him into difficulties on the Day of Ressurection.” [HR Bukhari]

Rasullullah sallaAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam is the best qudwah, he used to smiling even accept so many insults, he prayed for the hidayah of people who hurt him, never even once came out from his mouth any rude words, bad words, cursing, which hurt anyone. He is indeed rahmatan lil alamin.

Ya Allaah may we are not belong to one of them who is overly concerned with criticizing others, trying to retain perfection for himself deny any distinction for others. A person who obsessed with the deficiencies of others and finds a great deal of pleasure and happiness in criticizing other people, who follow others’ minutest shortcomings and are extremely proficient in publicizing them. This type of person is like a fly that lands only on open wounds. nauzubillah

O you who have spoken the words of faith but faith has not entered your hearts! Do not backbite about the Muslims or seek our their faults, for whoever seeks out their faults, Allaah will seek out his faults even if he is his house.” [HR Abu Dawood]

Abud-Darda'a relates that the Prophet (SAWS) said: "There is nothing that will be heavier in the Believer's scales, on the Day of Judgement, than good character. Indeed Allaah hates the wicked and the ill-mouthed person." [HR Abu Dawood]

When I came across my brothers with high temperament / rude nature..… I always imagine myself hopefully/wishing I would find Umar bin khatab [r.a] inside that person. Every harsh people always take Umar as their role model… Umar did this .. Umar did that… [this what my friend said....]

I love Umar bin Khatab… I always curious by the rudenss of this ummah… I read his biography many times… I wish to know Umar to understand umar in these time very well… then I hope I can understand the harsh of my dear brothers and sisters in islam…

But the more I know about Umar radiyallahuan… the more I feel it so far different….. Umar has high temperament .. but his rudeness made syaithan run away avoid to meet him [not his beloved ones]…he is the most consistent, confidence, honest, sincere person in practicing his deen, inside he has a very tender heart with a great empathy, a great leader who didn’t mind to suffer and starving with his people, a great leader who wouldn’t sleep before sure the comfort of his people, walked in the night to bring food for his people himself. Someone who known brave in front of enemy, loved and respected by friends, but didn’t shy to sleep on the lap of his wife like a spoiled child… gentle and treat them with mercy……and only crying in front of his Lord Allaah subhana wata’ala ……..

Narrated Abu Hurairah r.a.: The Prophet said, "Among the nation (who lived) before you from Bani Israel, there were men who used to be inspired with guidance, though they were not Prophets, and if there is any of such persons amongst my followers, it is Umar." [HR Bukhari]

Allaah's Messenger said, "O Ibn Al Khattab! By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, whenever Shaitan (Satan) sees you taking a way, he follow a way other than yours!" [HR Bukhari]

That’s Umar that I know.. the umar that I admire dearly… the figure that wish I find in every young Moslem...to take the example his real quality…

When this ummah start to talk about something.. They also start fight each other… to force each of their opinion… seem like uncivilized people who do not know how to carry on an intellectual discussion….

The spirit to spread the truth … doesn’t mean have to accompanied by the rudeness… Allah subhana wat’ala say :

It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (Their faults), and ask for ((Allah)'s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast Taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). [Qur’an Ali Imran : 159]

The rudeness will not bring anywhere… they will run away… it also will be our fault have make the other run from the truth because we adopt the wrong way …

Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam lived in Macca for 13 years among disbelievers who every day prostrate to their idols… but there is none in the history we hear one of those idols disappear or even nor we hear they lost their ears, nose during those 13 years …. But Rasulullah who has the akhlaq of Qur’an choose to win their heart with the beautiful character, introduce the truth teaching of Islam beautifully… then one day when the truth has been filled their heart.. they who destroy those idols themselves… Subahanallah.. indeed such genius approach

There is one hadist that gave profound effect to me….It was Narrated by Imam Ahmad… one day a young man come to Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam… there was very interesting dialog between Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam with that man…

That young man said :

‘O Messenger of Allaah, grant me permission to commit zinaa.’

The people turned to him and told him off, saying, ‘Ssh!’

The Prophet sallaAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said: ‘Come closer,’ so he came closer.
He told him, ‘Sit down,’ so he sat down.
He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your mother?’
He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’
He said: ‘No people would like it for their mothers.’
He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your daughter?’
He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’
He said: ‘No people would like it for their daughters.’
He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your sister?’
He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’
He said: ‘No people would like it for their sisters.’
He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your paternal aunt?’
He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’
He said: ‘No people would like it for their paternal aunts.’
He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your maternal aunt?’
He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’
He said: ‘No people would like it for their maternal aunts.’

Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam put his hand on him and said: ‘O Allaah, forgive him his sin, purify his heart and make him chaste.’ After that, the young man never paid attention to anything of that nature.”

SubhanAllaah we know zina is very grave sin… but we see how Rasulullah sallaAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam didn’t turn in rage when he face such “silly” question [he didn’t turn to be rude, harsh]. Rasulullah sallaAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam knows very well the physiology of young man, the urge to commit zina must be very challenge. Instead yell and judge at him in front of people, he asked that young man came closer and advise him with wisdom and with very beautiful preaching…

MashaAllaah there are many examples how Rasulullah sallaAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam deal with companions, enemies, anytime I review his sirah, it make me feel so shy to admit myself as his follower. His follower must follow his sunnah, imitate his beautiful characters…. Do we deserve called as his follower in fact we abandon his sunnah, far away imitate his beautiful characters… astaghfirullah…

Allah subhana wat’ala gives us the example how to win other heart… this example we can see how Allaah made haram khamar through step by step revelation.

The first verse, Allaah only said “it’s great sin, and some profit, for men; but the sin is greater than the profit."

They ask thee concerning wine and gambling. Say: "In them is great sin, and some profit, for men; but the sin is greater than the profit." …… [Qur'an Al Baqaraah 2:219]

Then He sent another verse that harder than the first

O ye who believe! Approach not prayers with a mind befogged, until ye can understand all that ye say,-…….[Qur'an An Nisa' 4:43]

Asbabul nuzul that verse [according hadist from Abu Dawood, at tarmidhi, an Nasa’I and Al Hakim] Abdurrahman bin Auf [r.a] invited some companions to eat in his house and he served some khamar, when the prayer called they went to pray in congregation, Ali bin Abi thalib lead the prayer, but because of the effect of the khamar he read the verse Al Kafirun in the wrong way, from this incident Allaah subhana wata’ala sent that verse to forbid anyone approach prayers with a mind befogged…

Then finally Allaah makes it [khamar] haram…

O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan's handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper. [Qur'an Al Maidah 5:90]

According some mufasir, this is a wisdom of Allaah. Allaah knows the nature and the situation of Arab people at that time. Khamar liked a tradition and be big part of their life. Allaah forbids it little by little [step by step] until they all ready to abandon that totally…. Wallahualam bishshowab…[May Allaah forgive me if I understand it wrongly… ]

Allaah the most powerful the Almighty one, He advice us very beautifully.. step by step… [Wallhualam bishshowab]

Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wasslam also advice us to talk with the language of people who we are talking with… we have to down to earth… We cant straight the way to say this is haram.. this is haram… this is haram.. without any prolog and no sufficient explanation…

May bless us more with knowlege about this deen then “at least” We can help ourselves to get the best understating among the confusion that created by many “knowledgeable people”. Lets we cry in front of Our Lord in the end of night… begging Allaah gift us the ability to understand the essence and the wisdom of knowledge…

May Allah safe our tongue our heart, our mind from create the shadow into anyone life...

Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaik
Rytha
Batam 9 April 2006

~[I'tikaf 3] : THE BATHROOM INCIDENT ~

Imagine if there are many people gather in one place and each of them have the same needy to go to bathroom, that is the crowded in the bathroom. That was what happened in the last I’tikaf.

Here is the incidence in the bathroom.

“knock knock knock…..”

No answer

“dum dum dum” [more severely]

‘brakkkk brakkkkk brakkkkk” someone inside the toilet knock back more more severely with uttering unclear grumble .

After few minutes an old lady came out from the toilet with gloomy face grumble something… The queue seem didn't care, she just an old lady, they saw each other, talking with their eyes, the gesture suffice to say they were mocking to that old woman who coming out hastily from the bathroom.

Next to another toilet, the same long queue. They are knocking more severely, their face like a warrior who ready to kill the enemy…

“Knock knock knock”…

“Wait please….. I am taking bath” [a voice from inside]..

“Huuuuuuuh, [the queue protest like a chorus]

“There are long queue here..be quick…..”

“This is not the right time to taking bath huhh….. hurry up … we all about get urinate on our pants”

Thanks Allah I had to leave, so I didn’t see the next sad episode of bathroom incident.

Girls obviously gathered there to worship Allah…They were gathered there to follow the series of I’tikaf schedule, there were spending their time to from the morning to the night to do ibadah mahdoh, spend the days listening the khutbah, reading the qur’an, stand the whole night doing tahajud……

Most of them are da’wah actives. Perhaps they are muslimah who come to the ground to face the hunger and tell them to be patience… Perhaps they are same people who say to the poor to not be anarchist to the injustice government.. Perhaps they are the same people who hold the hand of the orphan to say them stop crying

Indeed patience is a theory that always beautiful to preach… nice to discuss but hard to practice…It is easy to be patient if we are surrounded by comfort but extremely hard to be patient when it touch our needy as human…the egoism always conquer us...

Perhaps that why Allah subhana wata’ala say that to be patience in the period of panic pain and adversity is a kind of righteousness.

It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is ......
to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity,
and throughout all periods of panic.
Such are the people of truth, the Allah.fearing.
[Qur'an Al Baqarah 2:177]

Astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika….

May Allah bless us more with patience....

Rytha
Bandung, 2 Syawal 1426 H

Previously :

[I'tikaf 1]: ~The Battle with the System or The Battle with the Nafs~
http://rnuraini.blogspot.com/2006/02/itikaf-1-battle-with-system-or-battle.html

[I'tikaf 2]: ~The Biggest Perpetual Enemy~
http://rnuraini.blogspot.com/2006/01/itikaf-2-biggest-perpetual-enemy.html