Saturday, March 25, 2006

~A Syeikh and That Brother~

One day, a syeikh was visited by a young man; a young man who was falling in love with a Non-Moslem girl, he was planning to marry her in the near future. But there was something within his heart which make him want to ask advice first from scholars before married that girl. He felt like he was going to do something wrong. He was confused; he had met many scholars in his city. They gave him different answers about the ruling marriage Non Moslem woman. He felt more confuse......

Finally a friend advice him to meet this syeikh outside the city…..he wanted to find the comfort and surety of his important decision of marriage the girl that he loves…. ….. He traveled for miles to reach this syeikh…..

Then finally he met that Syeikh….

He sit and told the syeikh about his matter and told him about some fatwa that he had heard from some other scholars…

He appeared like the most suffering person on the earth…. anxiously between his love and his faith….

After he told all his matter….the syeikh ask simple questions

“Are you Moslem? “

“Yes I am alhamdulillah”

“Do you know what the meaning to be a Moslem ?”
“Allah say
[1] a Moslem is someone who has great love to Allah over everything.
“Do you love Allah? “

“Yes syeikh “

“Dear son…. Ask your heart honestly … where is our Aqeedah as a Moslem ….would you think a good Moslem who said he loves Allah but in the same time he also love someone who is displeased by Allah? My dear son A Moslem doesnt tbink to love someone in this world…if that person does not deserve to be loved by Allah. A Moslem should only love something that Allah loves…”


That is a real story that was told directly by that syeikh.

It gave profound effect to me for some reasons.

The Syeikh didn’t explain any difficult fiqih matter but he went to a basic matter which makes that brother think.
Many of us interested to search fatwa but it is not really to find the truth, rather than to find the comfort, the evidents to support our nafs [lust]. and sometimes only for the sake of argue...astaghfirullah...

A good Moslem is the one who leave something that doubly especially something that can danger his faith….There are many options in life… he will not chose the option that can make him slip due of his over confidence in interpretation the rule of Allah…....Allah subhana wa ta'ala reminds him in some places if the black believer slaves even better than non believer woman

In the history, Umar bin Khatab radiyallahuan ever sent letter to a companion to prevent him married a Non Moslem woman. It was not because Umar didn’t know if Allah allowed Moslem man to marry chaste Ahlul kitab woman, but Umar didn’t want the action of that prominent companions would be followed by other Moslem men. Umar prevent other Moslem that probably would take that action as the example then they will prefer to marry Non Moslem women compare to Moslem women. At that time the non Moslem woman from Persian and Rome are beautiful….the time of full temptation where Islam was growing ….the glory of islam due the conquest of some lands….

Wallahu alam…..

Nowadays….Some Moslem brothers think about marry white sexy, beauty non Moslem woman… “I love white and tall woman”…. That said one of brother….

Some of them argue by said….what’s wrong?…. it allowed by Qur’an. this is personal choice [HUMAN FREEDOM]…. Some said…. I do this for dakwah…. [NO ARGUE] !!!

Is that so ?

Some of us are so confidence when have to play at the end of the "dangerous boundary".... The pleasure of "challenge" and "love" is a great temptation to follow... But when the "faith" [the most precious treasure ] is going to put into "the risk".... then we should take deep thought to consider our choice......Have to straighten the heart.. clear the intention... think what will be things going to lead ....Is that to the Jannah or to the frustation that lead to the hell...

The fact, things not always go like what they dreamt….when heart has been filled by love….eyes become blind… the nafs conquer the rationality… the brain doesnt work…. In many case their found their wife totally different [belief, culture, taste, etc etc etc]…..Let’s alone to lead her to embrace Islam ..

Many parents are crying to see how their son’s marriage life have end….. they visited to their son’s home … they surprised by the upbringing… the custom…. They saw their son has been changed to be someone else…. They lost their son…he changed become someone else... his life style…his belief…

In reality… there are many unmarried devoted Moslem woman. They work hard to take care their purity, their dignity as a real Moslem woman.

May Allah subhana wata’ala lead all our heart to the best destination…to love the right one and being loved the right person that can support each other to gain the highest love.. the love of Allah…

Wallahu alam bishshowab,,,,,

[1] Qur’an Al Baqarah 2:165
[2] Qur’an Al Baqarah [2:221]
[3] There are many interpretation regarding Umar action to probit companion married Non Moslem woman.. This is one of the fomous interpretation of his action…wallahualam…

Friday, March 24, 2006

~ The Accident ~

Allah subhana wata’ala tested our family by my brother accident. Saw half of his face swollen and the blood from his broken teeth was so heartbroken. Saw how he tried to smiles, offered jokes, said he was Okay just to stop my mother crying was really painfully. Saw him entered the surgery room was really frightened. Waiting him in the ICU was the most anxious moment; Afraid what if the docter made the mistake…. Worry if he will recover….The most… I afraid to lose him more than anything…

I stared my mom …I thought all the beloved ones. I realized no matter how much I love them… I am going to lost them…. Some lost because of misunderstandings, some lost because the destiny apart us, some lost because of the time and the distance and for sure one day the death will take away one by one all the beloved ones. It’s only about the time, who are going to leave first… But nobody ready to bear this feeling, even just to think of this…….

Being surrounded sick people..made me thought about death much........Death is something that must. Allah says "Every soul shall have a taste of death....."
[1]. Allah subhanawata’ala says that "Wherever you are, death will find you out. Even if you are in towers built up strong and high."[2]

But Why we often forget it.... We love this world so much that make our heart reluctant to leave this world. We occupy our mind with the illusions and worldly hopes to enjoy the life and expecting to change when older…thinking that the death comes only to old people.

If we must die, how we will die? In what way we will die? Will we be accompanied by the beloved ones or will we die alone? Will anyone care to lead us to remember Allah subhana wat’ala at the end of our life? Is there anyone who cares to recite the Qur’an and guide us to read "la ilaha ilallah" in the coma times? Is there anyone who will hold our hands, touch our hair gently recite the do’a
[3] in the most crucial moment in our life, the critical moment?

Suddenly, I could feel the regret of them who hasn’t spent their best time with their beloved until the days are too late to regret. How many often one feel this regret, but the regret not last forever, often it is just for few moments until the cruel of egoism conquer us again and again….and the close ones who always bear the worse behavior of us….

In the hospital, I saw the death and how people face it, closely. I saw people dead one by one in very short time. The most grieve path when saw how the family didn’t know what to do but waiting the time; the hopeless that accompanied by crying and complaining. It was so scared to hear someone asked for the death injection
[4], to heard the screams, the complaints but none mention the name of Allah at all… astaghirullah na’uzubillah….

When the lugs are too pain, When take a breath is like a hard struggle, when there are many small hose around the nose, through the throat, will it so hard to remember if Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam said: "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that."
[5] No Muslim is afflicted with any harm, even if it were the prick of a thorn, but that Allah expiates his sins because of that, as a tree sheds its leaves."[6], ? astaghfirullah….lahaula walla quwata illa billah…..

Accompanied my brother, made me realize the comfort to be surrounded by the close and beloved people….families….friends… Here is things that I think we can do when we are waiting the sick person

Visiting the sick is an obligation for Moslem, and Allah will get the best reward
.[8] The sick person needs mental support from the close ones. Always spend time with him. Help him to recognize people who come to visit. When he was coma or slept, inform him who was/is coming and what their messages to him. It will make him happy because he felt people care of him.

Hold his hand. Caress his forehead, touch hair gently with love. Recite some Ruqyah verses… some al Ma’surat do’a….

Recite the dzikir. At least manage to recite morning and evening dzikir from Qur’an and shahih hadist. If we can find out what kind of ma’surat do’a that he recites daily, it will help him more. I mean help him to remember his routine. Some people feel so sad and feel bad if he leave his routine.

Recite the qur’an as often as possible, especially at his coma time. At that time he will not able to read anything... but he still can hear our voice if we recite some ayah close to him.... He need close to the letter from Allah, [the Qur'an] they feel close to the death, the recitation can fill his soul, to make him remember to istighfar... to make him stronger...lead him to the tauhid la ilaha ilallah all time.

However...all of us know losing the close and beloved on is an unbearable feeling. One day for sure we will lose them.... But it shouldn’t stop us to love and share our love to more people. The reliance that we have short time shouldn’t stop us to love, but rather to give our best time and love to them…. At time we decide to love, we also have to ready to let them go. They do not belong to us; they belong to Allah. Anytime, when He wishes He has the right to take them back….

The awareness if the time short should make us realize if we should do the best in every second of our life…. to be close with them in every moment... especially when they are sick and need our support

Lahaula walla quwata illa billah

wallahualam bishshowab...

Medan 11 January 2006

[1] [Qur’an : Ali-Imran 3:185]
[2] [Qur’an An- Nisa 4:78]
[3] The du’a from the Qur’an and Hadist.
[4] Euthanasia is not allowed in Islam. Islam considers humanlife sacred. Life is to be protected and promoted as much as possible. It is the duty of the doctors, patient’s relatives and the state to take care of the sick and to do their best to reduce the pain and suffering of the sick, but they are not allowed under any circumstances to kill the sick person. The sick person also should patiently endure the pain and should pray to Allah. If he/she is patient, there will be a great reward and blessing for him/her in the eternal life.*
* “There is nothing that befalls a believer,not even a thorn that pricks him,but Allaah will record one good deed for him and will remove one bad deed from him.” [HR Muslim]
[5] [Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.545 Narrated by Abu Said Al Khudri and Abu Huraira]
[6] [Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.551 Narrated by Abdullah]
[7] Mostly based on personal experiences.... please just take what you think according the Qur’an and Sunnah....
[8] "Verily, when a Muslim visits his sick Muslim brother, he is, as it were, in one of the gardens of Paradise (enjoying its ripe fruits) until he returns to his home." [Sahih Muslim Hadith 6227 Narrated byThawban]

Thursday, March 23, 2006

~Should be the best for the Beloved~

We often forget to small matters; we forget how to show the best attitude to people who close with us.

We always think a person who close with us will understand things without we need to say, we often take a grant he/she will understand whatever we do, he/she will understand how horrible, how rude, how naughty, how weird we are… This is a big mistake…nurturing those feelings only make us be an ignorance.... We tend don’t care anymore to show our best attitude, our best care, our best behavior, our best attention to the one who the most close with us, to the one that we most love. Simple because we have taken granted he/she is the most perfect person who always understands us. Whatever we do, we think they understand us… they just okay…. We do not feel anything anymore and do not aware if we hurt him/her, we will feel no guilty feeling if we act bad… because we think he/she will understand…because we take a grant he/she love us, they love and care us…

We justify ourselves to act freely even if that "hurt". The otherwise we could act better to other whom totally stranger.

We do realize if our beloved one must be always forgive us unconditionally although we do not ask his/her forgiveness. However, we also should try our best to not hurt then and always show our best care to that person….In fact They also are not an ANGLE they still human being who need words to confirm his/her heart.

Sometimes…. We forget if our best friend, our beloved ones, they are not an ANGLE who will always in the perfect heart and in the perfect sense to always understand us. They are also just human being, ….. must be there is a moment when they are in their weak point; a time where probably we indeed hurt her/him desperately, a thing that I believe we do not want ever think to do to our beloved one, as even unthinkable about to do that…

A scholar said, if we do sins/mistakes to Allah SWT [such as abandon prays, commit zina etc etc] and then we repentance earnestly (taubatan nasuha) and then never do that sins for the rest of our life, it’s quite possible by the abundance mercy of Allah, Allah will erase all those sins. But when we hurt human, did mistake to human, did cruel things to human, that matters will always follow us until the Day of Judgment if that person didn’t forgive us.

Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wassalam said

“Abu Huraira. reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Do you know who is poor? They (the Companions of the Holy Prophet) said: A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. He (the Holy Prophet) said: The poor of my Umma would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrecton with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire.”[HR MUSLIM]

That’s why when we hurt others we have to ask forgiveness. Asking forgiveness will not low our dignity. May we do not belong of that bankrupt people. It’s better to solve all matter with human in this world rather in hereafter.

When we feel other did hurt us and oppressed us, be careful with our prays because Rasulullah SAW said "Be afraid, from the curse of the oppressed as there is no screen between his invocation and Allah." [HR BUKHARI] , sometimes in anger we tend to prays bad things happened to the oppressors. What if Allah answers that pray [in fact perhaps they are our close friends, parents, relatives or people that we love… ], it would be better when the calamity and injustice fall upon us, we use that moment to prays all the good things for ourselves, for people that we love and even the forgiveness for people who hurt us…[in fact they have already would get the consequence of their bad deeds to Allah swt] May Allah will record that as the righteous deeds for us, insyaAllah…

Indeed it’s difficult to forgive when we are be a victim…indeed it’s difficult to forgive when our heart hurt… difficult to be sincere when our heart sick… But it’s a journey….. the jannah not that easy to gain…. .

Wallahu alam bishowab….

Bandung 25 Aug 2004

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

~Lets that Love not only be the story in the History~

Allah says that "The Believers are but a single brotherhood." [1]

Sisterhood in Islam is not only know someone name, but it more than that. When the love in sisterhood has been placed in the right place, there will be mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever".
[2] They should neither deceive nor lie to each other, nor leave their sisters without assistance. They will take care each other; the honour, the blood and the property of their sisters. '' [3]. They are like brick of a building, each strengthens the other.'' [4] . Even this is the condition of the perfection of faith, we will never have till we wishes for our sisters what we like." [5]

The contract of sisterhood is a bond between two persons, like the contract of marriage between two spouses. For just as marriage gives rise to certain duties which must be fulfilled when it is entered into, so does the contract of sisterhood confer upon our sisters a certain right touching our property, our person, our tongue and our heart - by way of forgiveness, prayer, sincerity, loyalty, relief and considerateness."


In time of Khalifah Umar Bin Khattab, there was a young man gave himself up to be judged because he killed another Moslem [in another atsar, it was an accident]. The court sentenced his crime by “Qishas”
[7] . Umar asked that man what he asked before the execution. He asked permission to go back to his homeland because He need to take care few of “amanah” [trust] and to pay some of his owes. Umar agreed with his request but with one condition, there must be someone who can guaranty him [if he didn’t back then that person would replace him to accept that punishment].

That man didn’t have relatives in Madinah, so that when he asked who wanted to guaranty him, nobody answer. But suddenly from the crowded someone yelled “I will guaranty him”. That person was Abu Dzar Al-Ghifari. Then that man was given one week to complete his matters.

In the execution day, that man still hadn’t come up. All people cried because they saw Abu Dzar was sitting in the place where the execution would be carried on. The executor was ready to execute him; he was just waiting one sign from Umar.

But suddenly there was a horse coming very fast toward that place, people heard takbir [Allahu akbar = Allah the greatest] from the rider. He was that man. He run to the execution place. At that time, he was asked “Why you come back, in fact you have chance to run away?” That man said “Yes I could just run away, But I am shy if the history would record me as a Moslem who didn’t keep his promise and didn’t take care the honor of his brother [the honor of Abu Dzar who has guaranteed him]”

The children of the victim heard that sincere answer; they felt touched by that answer then they came and said “We are the sons of the victim we decided to forgive this man” Finally that man was released from the Qishah. At that time Abu Dzar was asked “Why you want to guaranty someone that you didn’t know?” Abu Dzar answered “ I am shy if the history would record if there was an event where a Moslem asked the guaranty from his brother but no one wamted to help him” .

Then the victim’s son also were asked “Why you so that easy to forgive the murder of your dad?” They said,
“We also shy the history would record record us as a Moslem who didn’t forgive their brother in Islam!”[8]

Hudayfa radiyallahu anhu relates

The Battle of Yarmuk had just ended. I was walking over the battle-field among the martyred and injured with a pitcher of water. I was looking for the son of my uncle.

I found him lying in blood on the burning sand. He was about to die. I asked him whether he wanted water. Unable to speak, he gestured that he did. I was just offering it to him when a groaning was heard: 'Water! Water! Please, a drop of water!'

My uncle's son, whose name was Harith, heard that and gestured that I should take the water to him. I hastened to the groaning one, who was Ikrima. Ikrima had not yet taken the pitcher when a similar groaning was heard. Refusing to take the water, Ikrima wanted me to take it to the one groaning. When I got to that one, who was 'Iyash, he was supplicating:

O God! We have never refrained from sacrificing our lives for the sake of faith. Honor us with the rank of martyrdom, and forgive our sins!

'Iyash saw the water but did not live long enough to drink it. I immediately returned to take the water to Ikrima. However, I found Ikrima also martyred. Then I hastened to Harith, my uncle's son. Unfortunately, he too was lying dead on the burning sand.

This is the most touching event I have witnessed in my life. It was their unshakable belief in Islam which caused them to behave that way. It was Islam which created such degree of brotherhood among people.

Subhanallah what’s so beautiful stories. How the bond of faith could be so that strong beyond anything – even beyond the blood connection. The sincerity to help each other unconditionally even if has to sacrifice his life. They shame if the history would record as bad person. They shame if they couldn’t help the difficulty of other brothers.

Now.....What we want the history record us ? What will be the history remember us? it depends on what we are doing depends on who we are, now

May Allah release all the hate, evil, jealousy from our heart. May Allah help us to keep only good thinkings of our sisters.....May Allah join us here for His Sake to take care each other for His sake. And then in the day of Judgment we all will be among of them who will be shade by the shade of Allah because of this love [10]


Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika

Bandung 13 Nov 2005
SSj Moderator

[1] Qur’an Al Hujurat 49:10
[2] Al-Bukhari and Muslim
[3] At Tirmidhi
[4] Al-Bukhari and Muslim
[5] Al-Bukhari
[6] The saying of Imam Al Ghazali
[7] The punishment for murder in Islam is also death except the family of the victim forgive him, he only need to pay some amount of money, this is to show how islam respect the soul human being. Qur’an Al Baqarah 2:178-179
[8] This is one of the touching story that I ever read [I write it with free style] until now I haven’t found the clear reference where the origin of that story, just read it from many sources....
[9] The story that we can find in shirah.
[10] HR Bukhari and HR Muslim