We always think a person who close with us will understand things without we need to say, we often take a grant he/she will understand whatever we do, he/she will understand how horrible, how rude, how naughty, how weird we are… This is a big mistake…nurturing those feelings only make us be an ignorance.... We tend don’t care anymore to show our best attitude, our best care, our best behavior, our best attention to the one who the most close with us, to the one that we most love. Simple because we have taken granted he/she is the most perfect person who always understands us. Whatever we do, we think they understand us… they just okay…. We do not feel anything anymore and do not aware if we hurt him/her, we will feel no guilty feeling if we act bad… because we think he/she will understand…because we take a grant he/she love us, they love and care us…
We justify ourselves to act freely even if that "hurt". The otherwise we could act better to other whom totally stranger.
We do realize if our beloved one must be always forgive us unconditionally although we do not ask his/her forgiveness. However, we also should try our best to not hurt then and always show our best care to that person….In fact They also are not an ANGLE they still human being who need words to confirm his/her heart.
Sometimes…. We forget if our best friend, our beloved ones, they are not an ANGLE who will always in the perfect heart and in the perfect sense to always understand us. They are also just human being, ….. must be there is a moment when they are in their weak point; a time where probably we indeed hurt her/him desperately, a thing that I believe we do not want ever think to do to our beloved one, as even unthinkable about to do that…
A scholar said, if we do sins/mistakes to Allah SWT [such as abandon prays, commit zina etc etc] and then we repentance earnestly (taubatan nasuha) and then never do that sins for the rest of our life, it’s quite possible by the abundance mercy of Allah, Allah will erase all those sins. But when we hurt human, did mistake to human, did cruel things to human, that matters will always follow us until the Day of Judgment if that person didn’t forgive us.
Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wassalam said
“Abu Huraira. reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Do you know who is poor? They (the Companions of the Holy Prophet) said: A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. He (the Holy Prophet) said: The poor of my Umma would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrecton with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire.”[HR MUSLIM]
That’s why when we hurt others we have to ask forgiveness. Asking forgiveness will not low our dignity. May we do not belong of that bankrupt people. It’s better to solve all matter with human in this world rather in hereafter.
When we feel other did hurt us and oppressed us, be careful with our prays because Rasulullah SAW said "Be afraid, from the curse of the oppressed as there is no screen between his invocation and Allah." [HR BUKHARI] , sometimes in anger we tend to prays bad things happened to the oppressors. What if Allah answers that pray [in fact perhaps they are our close friends, parents, relatives or people that we love… ], it would be better when the calamity and injustice fall upon us, we use that moment to prays all the good things for ourselves, for people that we love and even the forgiveness for people who hurt us…[in fact they have already would get the consequence of their bad deeds to Allah swt] May Allah will record that as the righteous deeds for us, insyaAllah…
Indeed it’s difficult to forgive when we are be a victim…indeed it’s difficult to forgive when our heart hurt… difficult to be sincere when our heart sick… But it’s a journey….. the jannah not that easy to gain…. .
Wallahu alam bishowab….
Bandung 25 Aug 2004