Monday, December 17, 2007

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 4 ~

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

My dear husband Ahmad…

If Allah allows me I had flied to the sky to bring the stars as gift for you, but He the Almighty says the stars is for the lamps that adorn the sky and the missiles to drive away the Syaithan… Therefore I let them there as the adornment of sky so that you can keep seeing its beauty.

I want you know dear, for me you are like the star in my life that always lighten my sky, you adorn my life with so many beautiful things…
Marrying such lovely and understanding husband like you is one of the happiest and the greatest blessing in woman life..... alhamdulillah…

Jazakallahu khair for such lovely email, May Allah increase you in knowledge and wisdom. May Allah strengthen that love for His sake forever…May Allah make you always keep that lovely and sweet.... ameen.

In this first year of our marriage I realize we have been through so many new things, so many up and down. We just began the new life. You are learning how to be a leader in our family; you are learning how to care , how to love someone in your life. I believe it's not an easy task for you dear to care complicated creature named woman.

I aware… I myself still far from perfect.… There are a lot of things that I have to learn how to please and to serve you best, to become the coolness of your eyes, to be the comfort of your heart. Indeed it need such of patience and struggle, but it's a worth journey to be your righteous wife.. I want be your best treasure in the earth, to make you please as my path to Jannah.. inshaAllah….

I believe at times you feel some disappointments that made you had to restrain your anger. So much of times the emotion came over, I have tested so much of your patience…. Alhamdulillah at those times you always remember the saying of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam that "The strong man is not the one who can wrestle (fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of anger.” [HR Al-Bukhaari 6114]

The love for the sake of Allah alhamdulillah make you become someone just.... that love only make you angry to me for His sake, that love made you able to control your emotion, you not just burst out in anger at anytime you want. You never become someone egoist who just saying hurt things to satisfy yourself no matter that words that hurt for your wife. That love always be winner calm you down.... That love always softener your heart to always forgive your dear one ....mashaAllah... that patience and understanding make my love and respect grow and grow toward you...

InshaAllah..... May Allah make us among of them who given the shade of His throne in the day of judgment because of our sincere love for His sake....

Dear.. this marriage is an important chapter of our life that we should try our best to pass with a lot of faith in Allah.. Seek help from Him always for his Mercy, to grant us more patience and understanding each other… We seek the refuge of Allah from the traps of Syaithan who always try their best to separate two hearts that being gathered by sacred bond of Marriage…

They are in racing to win their throne among their fellows to gain the greatness success of separation the husband and wife…Imam Muslim reported on the authority of Jabir ibn `Abdullah, who stated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Iblis (Satan) places his throne upon water, then sends his groups. The closest to him are those who (tempt people to) commit the most grievous of sins (fitnah). One of them would approach him and say: I did such-and-such. Iblis would reply: You have done nothing. Another would approach and say: I did not leave him (a man) until I caused him to leave his wife and for them to be separated. Iblis would bring him close to his throne and would say: How good you are!”

May Allah protect us from their evils.....

Dear.. InshaAllah this is a earnest commitment in my heart, with all my heart and with all my soul I will not let them win… I will fight them my best till the last of my breath, I will keep running to you, to keep be closer to you, to keep pleasing you.. so that they will never win and never ever win to make you away from me, to destroy our bond of marriage .. I will never let those cruel enemy of mankind win over us….la haula walla quwata illa billah....

They are the worse of enemy that always consistently whispering hater in our heart, blow up our anger, pop up our arrogance and egoism to make us becoming a cruel creature to able hurting our beloved one... They will try to make us argue and fight over the small things..... Indeed they are the most worse of creature who keep trying persistently to find the doors to separate a husband from his wife.
When we feel so much confident, they are preparing more traps to make us follow their footsteps until we fall to the grief sins…na'uzubillah...

Dear... You are my precious jewel, my soul companion in this world, inshaAllah we will be the eternal companion each other in jannah … . I oblige to protect you and guard you from the traps of syaithan. Be the garment that wraps you from haram things…. be your companion that keep try to pull you back to the straight path when you are mislead ….

At times when I felt jealousy …I keep asking you if Do you love me….It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you dear….

Ummul mu’munin Aishah used to ask Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam "How is your love for me?"

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam didn’t ask aishah back ….
“Why you ask me that question?
“Don’t you trust me ? ”
“If not love you why I married you?”
“Of course I love you that why I still with you, what do you think?”
“What I should do to make you believe me if I love you? “ ….

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam answer ummul mu’minin softly :
He sallahu alahi wassalam used to say : that love is "Like the rope's knot,"

MashaAllah that mean love of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam for Aishah is so strong and secure.

Time after time thereafter, Ummul mu’minin Aishah would ask Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam again "How is the knot?"

Rasulullah didn’t reply her :
“I have told you …. I love you….., why keep asking me the same question all time”
“Should I have to tell I love again and again?”
“Oh Dear… Don’t ask me that silly question again and again!”
“My love not very cheap that I have to tell you all times…. The less it say…the more precious of it…. You know that !”

Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam was very understanding …..Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam replied Aishah : "Ala haaliha in the same condition." He affirmed her….his love still the same…the same strong and secure…

When I am jealousy I may ask you that question….when I want to feel happy I will ask you the same question , when I am feeling sad I will ask this question again…It because I want my dear husband say he loves me all time….It bring so much secure and joy…Your love can make brighter my days…Your love give so much spirit and the strength to step all the difficulty that we are facing….

Doesn’t matter how many great women that ever you met….Your wife always wants to be the best for you….. Sometimes she just want to hear your confirmation …

I did know you kind of lie when you told me I look gorgeous when my weight adds 10 kg due of pregnancy…But I just love to hear those lie so much.

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam allows a man to lie with his wife…to make his wife happy… for the sake of harmony [not for cheating] [HR Muslim Book 32, Number 6303] May Allah counts that as the sincere du’a from you….

Please don’t get irritate if in this month It already more than 10 times asked you if I am looking great …I know what I look in the mirror with my big tummy due to pregnancy …I just want you keep saying I still look beautiful for you….Please don’t get lost your cool, people said pregnant woman kinda difficult to handle. Woman always want to look beautiful for her husband in any situations…..The worse they much more want to keep looking beautiful in the eyes of their husband even when they are in the state of pregnancy.... They need much more extra love and care....

Ummul mu’minin Aishah tried to confirm her position among other Rasulullah Wives…..Once she asked Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam …

"O Messenger of God, tell me of yourself. If you were between the two slopes of a valley, one of which had not been grazed whereas the other had been grazed, on which would you pasture your flocks?"

"On that which had not been grazed," replied the Prophet. "Even so," she said, "and I am not as any other of your wives. "Everyone of them had a husband before you, except myself."

MashaAllah… Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam just smiled and said nothing. InshaAllah my dear husband also will keep smiling just like Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam smile to Aishah when anytime I asking him all the silly questions. Especially in this difficult time of my pregnancy

Please be patience dear…Just like Rasulullah salahu alahi wassalam be patience to ummul mu’mini Aishah…

Please be patience and be tender always…
Please deal with me like Rasulullah salallahu alahi salam deal with Aishah…

From the companion Anas Narrated : While the Prophet was in the house of one of his wives, one of the mothers of the believers sent a meal in a dish. The wife at whose house the Prophet was, struck the hand of the servant, causing the dish to fall and break.

That incident happened in front if prophet companions…What would be the reaction of husband in our time if his wife acts like that? I just can’t imagine…. Men tend to keep their status and pride higher…Maybe he will just easily to divorce his wife, what bad thing that she did in front of his friends……….

Anas then told us how rasulullah sallahualahi wassalam reacted in this incidence….

Anas said…Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam gathered the broken pieces of the dish and then started collecting on them the food which had been in the dish Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam then turned to companions radiyallahu anhum and said, "Your mother (my wife) felt jealous." Then Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam detained the servant till a (sound) dish was brought from the wife at whose house he was. He gave the sound dish to the wife whose dish had been broken and kept the broken one at the house where it had been broken [Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 152]

Subhanallah……The best Moslem is the one who has good character….

It’s not something strange what Aishah did…Rasulullah salalhu alahi wassalam comprehended this incident, He just forgave Aishah. He only said… “Your mother felt jealous”…He didn’t turn in rage at all….Subhanallah….

Jealousy is the nature of woman…..Please try to expect and respect it dear…

You have to expect it because it sign of her love, her gheerah is sign of her virtuous to protect you from evils. Her jealousy will be a self introspection for her to make her try to serve and make you happy and please more. Her gheerah will make her strive harder to elevate her status over the hoor of Jannah…..

You have to respect it…. because She is your half of soul, you should consider her feeling and comfort so much ….She is your life partner that already help you to away from haram things, she worth for your care. She has so much soft heart, so sensitive feelings that If you ignore it…. It will turn bad…If you belittle what she feel… Your home would like the hell…She is just like a glass vessel… so easy to break….She created from the bend rip that have to straighten with tenderness….

Allah trusts you to care and love that vessel, to put her in the very soft place of your heart, to manage and care it with the tenderness. You should put her very close in your heart, so that you will always remember her at anytime you want to do something wrong that you might would break that vessel…and You will feel fear the wrath of Allah if you try to betray the trust that Allah has given in your hand……..

From the bottom of my heart.. Please forgive me for making your worry in these days….…Forgive me for trouble you with my jealousy…. I love you so much….

InshaAllah I will never ever do anything that I mentioned in my previous email…I truly love you. True sincere believers will never response bad with bad….Our love each other has to full of mercy and compassion. I will never do something that myself not comfortable with it inshaAllah…I will try my best to never do something that even slightly could trouble you….This jealousy will never go the limit that harm our deen…

May this marriage make us become a better person. Lets we try our best to train each other best... so that when our child grow up, they will find their parents as a good role model, they will find the tranquility and the comfort risen
in the house that fill with a lot of love, respect and understanding.... They will see the sunnah of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam apply in our daily life, make them closer to the sunnah time by time... inshaAllah...

May Allah makes us be the best companion in this world and be the best companion in hereafter... So we not include among them who hate and be enemy each other in the day of judgment.... ameen....

Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfirulla wa’atubu ilaika

With so much trust and love
Wassallammu'alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh
Your wife



razi 10:52 AM  


nice info..