~The day I lost him~
The day I lost him, I couldn’t sleep. It was raining. I was thinking what if he was outside feeling cold…..
Will someone could love him more than I did…Will someone could care him more than I did …. Nobody will think he is special……. What if nobody feed him. … What if nobody protect him, nobody welcomes him… … He is ugly…he was sick... He couldn’t eat anything... He likes to vomit anywhere…. He was so easy to get scare.... he was easy to get panic
I hope he know I didn’t mean to leave him with stranger….I didn’t have choice…. If I knew I would lost him….., where is he…
Did he think I leave him? Did he think I did not care him… Why he didn’t come home… was he lost? Is he alive?
If he was a man…. I would not be too worry him… he will able to take care himself… he perhaps only would go because of a better woman who will able make him happier, who will take care and love him more … But he is just a cat….a weak cat….
A weak cat whom even no able to defense himself when a bigger cat came to disturb his night sleep, A cat that will run hide and search of protection, a cat who grasp my shoulder tightly when he hear something noisy… a cat that will wait me to feed him… A cat who need being nurse when he was sick….
Nobody will understand how important you are… You are just cat… Your disappearance was perhaps nothing
Anytime when I heard cat’s crying and frightening… I always checked it…but it’s not you… Who will help you if you scared…. Who will feed you if you hungry… Do they understand if you like cheese more than fish… Do they understand if you love around people…
If I didn’t spoiled him too much…if I didn’t over protective… If I teach him to be independent to face the wild world… he must survive… It was my fault…..My love had made me blind,… Love indeed is blind… tend to lead anyone to love with the wrong way.… My love that made the beloved become weak…and depend on… astaghfirullah…. Being too over protective…..
Then I found him….
Surprised He looked fat…mashaAllah… I brought him home… He sacred at first but after awhile he recognize his home . He change… grow become brave cat. He does not need me to defense him from the big cat who bother him… Subhanllah Allah do really care of you…. He the best protector and the best care of His creature….
You made me realize Allah has created things with balance.. The mercy of Allah to protect and care you… Indeed Allah the best teacher… We human being who often do mischief to destroy the balance….
He [Allah] Who created the seven heavens one above another: No want of proportion wilt thou see in the Creation of ((Allah)) Most Gracious. So turn thy vision again: seest thou any flaw? Again turn thy vision a second time: (thy) vision will come back to thee dull and discomfited, in a state worn out. [Qur’an Al Mulk 67: 3-4]
Subhanallah…
If one day I have children…. will I raise them with that kind blind love… over protective… make him to be a sterile….pure….like a white paper….to be the one who will be ready colored by any colors of his environment?
Subhanallah…
or
Will I raise them to be a strong person, a tough one, an immune that can face any bad influence from environment….. not imitate … not follow them…. …just like a person who immune of a virus that always attacking the body… ?…
I have to learn the meaning of losing... perhaps this what they feel… thousands of Acehnese’s parents who losing their children… thousand’s palestian’s parents who losing their children…
I have to learn more how to love ……..
Will someone could love him more than I did…Will someone could care him more than I did …. Nobody will think he is special……. What if nobody feed him. … What if nobody protect him, nobody welcomes him… … He is ugly…he was sick... He couldn’t eat anything... He likes to vomit anywhere…. He was so easy to get scare.... he was easy to get panic
I hope he know I didn’t mean to leave him with stranger….I didn’t have choice…. If I knew I would lost him….., where is he…
Did he think I leave him? Did he think I did not care him… Why he didn’t come home… was he lost? Is he alive?
If he was a man…. I would not be too worry him… he will able to take care himself… he perhaps only would go because of a better woman who will able make him happier, who will take care and love him more … But he is just a cat….a weak cat….
A weak cat whom even no able to defense himself when a bigger cat came to disturb his night sleep, A cat that will run hide and search of protection, a cat who grasp my shoulder tightly when he hear something noisy… a cat that will wait me to feed him… A cat who need being nurse when he was sick….
Nobody will understand how important you are… You are just cat… Your disappearance was perhaps nothing
Anytime when I heard cat’s crying and frightening… I always checked it…but it’s not you… Who will help you if you scared…. Who will feed you if you hungry… Do they understand if you like cheese more than fish… Do they understand if you love around people…
If I didn’t spoiled him too much…if I didn’t over protective… If I teach him to be independent to face the wild world… he must survive… It was my fault…..My love had made me blind,… Love indeed is blind… tend to lead anyone to love with the wrong way.… My love that made the beloved become weak…and depend on… astaghfirullah…. Being too over protective…..
Then I found him….
Surprised He looked fat…mashaAllah… I brought him home… He sacred at first but after awhile he recognize his home . He change… grow become brave cat. He does not need me to defense him from the big cat who bother him… Subhanllah Allah do really care of you…. He the best protector and the best care of His creature….
You made me realize Allah has created things with balance.. The mercy of Allah to protect and care you… Indeed Allah the best teacher… We human being who often do mischief to destroy the balance….
He [Allah] Who created the seven heavens one above another: No want of proportion wilt thou see in the Creation of ((Allah)) Most Gracious. So turn thy vision again: seest thou any flaw? Again turn thy vision a second time: (thy) vision will come back to thee dull and discomfited, in a state worn out. [Qur’an Al Mulk 67: 3-4]
Subhanallah…
If one day I have children…. will I raise them with that kind blind love… over protective… make him to be a sterile….pure….like a white paper….to be the one who will be ready colored by any colors of his environment?
Subhanallah…
or
Will I raise them to be a strong person, a tough one, an immune that can face any bad influence from environment….. not imitate … not follow them…. …just like a person who immune of a virus that always attacking the body… ?…
I have to learn the meaning of losing... perhaps this what they feel… thousands of Acehnese’s parents who losing their children… thousand’s palestian’s parents who losing their children…
I have to learn more how to love ……..
More than that..... I have to learn how to losing the beloved......
wallahualam...
lahaulla walla quwata illa billah...
Rytha
Bandung 2005
Related topic:
~Then the Angle will not belittle us: "Oh what a man he is !'~
http://rnuraini.blogspot.com/2006/04/then-angle-will-not-belittle-us-oh.html
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