Sunday, April 01, 2007

~A Night Before Ramadan~

A friend came to visit, few days before Ramadan. That was exactly the 100th days she lost her husband, so tragic, a sudden calamity happened just few months after she lost her new born baby. I spent whole night with her… engaged in conversation like haven’t met for ages….

Carefully I tried to not mention his name, not lead her to anything that can bring back his memories…I wanted to keep and cover him away from her mind…..

We talked about books but that made her remember a book gifted from our close friend. She said : “He loved that book, that was his favorite book, he read it anywhere, in the house, in the car….I didn’t really interest to read before….but after he gone I curious to read it…. No wonder he loved it…. “

She said it with calm expressions.

I was mistake, she shouldn’t forget him. He was half of her soul, someone who ever place a special place in her heart, his memory may the best part in her life that she wants always remember….

Anytime she mentioned his name, somehow my heart bleeding…, …. She is so strong. She still like 3 years ago when we separated in graduation day. Her smiles still same like when I attended her wedding days….

She still like high school girl… I kidded her how she could manage people and meet the clients who twice taller and bigger than her.. She does… She always confidence… That’s tinny lady flight thousands miles to bring back her husband in coffin. Maybe that the only day I saw she crying…

Her patience and strength slap me who was even couldn’t believe my dear friend have to be a widow in such young age… it was so bitter mixed with angry how could he left her so fast to feel short time happiness…astaghfirullah wa atbu ilaika…

Life seem so smooth, graduated, get great job, married very nice man … having house….car… Indeed To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return … He will take anytime He wishes…

If only I could smiles lightly like she did…

I wanted to see her heart, see the pains which she covered with her smiles… She came to visit all her friends… to shared her smiles….Did she smiles just to make us happy to know she is fine…she is Ok,… She will survive…? wallahualam

Crying over calamity is natural..
But keep smiling to the destiny of Allah
To accept it patiently, sincerely
Really the highest state of submission to the will of Allah
The highest submission to every best trust
The totality of faith and trust to the best

Indeed her visit… a night that I spent is a wonderful gift from Allah…. To a reflections.. Pondering in this blessed Ramadhan…

Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. to Us must ye return. [Qur’an 21:35]
Lahaulla walla quwata illa billah...


Bandung, 20 October 2005