~ Physical Beauty and The Marriage [Part 1] ~

My Dear sister in Islam…

What would feel when someone intends to marry you, he comes to your parent to see you. After he has seen you… He just goes back, never come back, not move forward with his proposal…

Will you hate this brother?

What you feel about a brother who asks people about your beauty first than your religion?

Will you feel so humiliated?

We may think a brother who asks about beauty… as someone who has not strong commitment in his deen…. We jump labeling him as someone who only care about beauty. We may would start to questioning his understanding of his deen...….

Astaghfirullah.. wa na’uzubillah..

Do you know sister..

Once upon a time……Imam Ahmad rahimahullah advice if a man want to propose marriage to a woman, he should ask about her beauty first, and if good things are said, he should ask about her religious commitment, and if good things are said, he should marry her. If he doesn't hear good things about her religious commitment, then he will have rejected her because of her religious commitment. He should not ask about her religious commitment first, then if good things are said, then he asks about her beauty, then if he does not hear anything good, he rejects her because of beauty and not because of religious commitment. End Quote [Syarh Muntahā’l Iradāt, vol. II, page. 623.]

Subhanallah….

Sister…..
Imam Ahmad rahimahullah… very wise…. he doesn’t want a mu’min leave a God fearing muslimah just because that muslimah not meet his standard of beauty in fact he fully aware she is a true believer who has strong understanding of her deen… He doesn’t like a mu’min refuse another muslimah not because of the deen matter…

Wallahualam…

Dear Sister…

It’s not something make you become more holy, more pure or make your marriage become more Islamic marriage by marrying someone who never being seen before…. With the same reason you cant refuse the right of you suitor to see you because of this kind of personal preference.

I am sorry for some sisters who raise in certain culture who belief these things, they consider this kind of marriage as something very Islamic, better and best.... In certain cases even cause the offense and humiliate feeling if the suitor come to see the girl...

I am sorry too for them who blindly accept someone that offered by their shaikh/teacher or the respected person. with the faith that would make them more pure and sincere.... Or some just accept it with whatever reasons such as afraid will be cursed by their fellows group of da'wah that they will start to doubt of his/her commitment in da'wah if asking to see candidate first... Some go with blindly marriage just in intention to show their obedient and their submission to the choice of shaikh... etc. .. Wa na'uzubillah...

This way of marriage is just the opposite of getting marriage where boys and girls have date each other and become so free in their relation. However... the first way is too extreme.... and another one is the wrong way... Allah knows best...

The sunnah of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam is we are ordered to see the person that we are going to marry.... because it is the basis on which a very important decision affecting a person’s life will be taken

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam told a companion Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that going to marry an Anshar lady : ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’ [Reported by al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574]

Rasulullah salahu alahi wassallam must have a wisdom by advising the companions to see first someone that he was going to marry. He salallahu alahi wassalam said.. it can strengthen the heart, more fitting the love and compatibility between both of couple. This sunnah inshaAllah ensure the love and affection will be generated between them........ subhanallah...Allah knows best.

Sister... unlike what we thought before... Actually this is a part of the sunnah our brother in Islam to choose a wife that suite for him in beauty, because it will give greater sense of tranquility and more likely help him lower his gaze. The one that meet his level of beauty that will keep him happy to build a family based on love and respect. That beauty will be a shield for him from fall to the haram things...

Allah knows best

My dear sister……

Please broaden your heart, keep be patience and always have trust in Allah….. If someone comes to ask your hand to marry then he cancel his intention to marry you because you are not meet his beauty standard, please don't be sad sister.... keep praising to Allah… be grateful to Him.....Try your best to keep a husnuzaan with the intention of your fellow brother in Islam... InshaAllah soon.. Allah will replace him with someone better .. someone who will accept you whatever you are....

Why sister ?

Can you imagine to spend rest of your life with someone who not feel compel with you ? It like nightmare and torturing yourself…..For the marriage you must be willing to give the best for your companion both in physically and spiritually fulfillment. Marriage is not game….…. It is a place of both party to feel the pleasure and enjoyment…. The peak of happiness is when you can give the best fulfillment to your spouse ... to be the coolness of his eyes... the coolness of his heart...

Sister... it would be hurt you so much.... it would be much more humiliated you if in the future when you find out your hubby thinks " My wife is too short....I didn't know if my wife too fat... I actually prefer my wife more fairer" etc...

Sister... Everyone has their own preference... The beauty itself is very relative depends on person to person preference... It may you are not considered as a beautiful girl for one suitor but you will be look so beautiful for one who Allah destined become your life partner.... inshaAllah...

Sister.... This is the nature of human being to demand and dream something.... ... Our pious brother also a human being, they are normal man who have fitrah to love beauty... It's not tarnish their quality of his deen...if they have a specific beauty in their mind for his wife to be.... Just like you also have the same right to have specific qualities for your husband to be

However... It would bring more confidence yourself if your husband knew how you look like when he moved forward to marry you... You do not need to wondering whether you would be beauty enough to your husband... because you are his choice... both outside and inward aspects....

Subhanallah.... this sunnah is to respect the marriage institution itself... To prevent the regret and disappointment in the future... The refusal it could be his good fear of Allah to mistreating you if he keep move on in marrying you ....

Dear sister ...

Strengthen your heart to keep following the guidance of Allah and His messenger salallahu alahi wassalam to get through all the procedures of the sunnah with patiently …

Dear sister … Allah knows what you feel deep down your heart when you have to move from one suitor to another suitor… When you have to smiles from one family to another family who coming to know you....….Allah knows best your patience that you have to answer the interviewer…

However sister… You still have the key in your hand.. Let other choose…. Finally you the one who decide… Allah and His Messenger give you that right … Nobody can force you to marry anyone without your agreement… InshaAllah

Allah Knows best….

Rytha
Batam 5 December 2007

to be continue inshaAllah

~Romantic Husband~

This writing to enlighten my sisters in Islam, to make them feel optimist if there are still good Muslim husbands among of them who mischief and cheat behind their wife….

Although haram love Affair spreading in our community we can’t generalize if all man are just the same, accuses all of them are hypocrite… astaghfirullah…

One sister told me

How wonderful her husband…
That day they visited a place outside the city.. They were late and missed the last bus…..So they had to walk home….

She felt so much tired and begged him to get rest for few minutes…Her husband said… she would die if she stop, she has to keep moving because the weather was so cold…keep moving will keep them warm…But she stopped and just couldn’t walk again…

Sisters.. You know what her husband did ?
He carried her [if not wrong he carried her on his back]….
That was quite long walk…She felt sorry for him.. and asked her husband to let her down…

But he said…“No…it's a practice to me…. It's practice for jihad.. if one day I go for jihad and I have to carry my injury brother, how could I feel tired and left him down…”

MashaAllah…so sweet…

Another sister shared me…

That day she was sick, she got vomit so many times….Her husband beside her whole day and night to take care of her, he lost his sleep…He patiently cleaned all what she vomit from her stomach without feel any disgust, in fact she herself feel so much disgust.

He carried her on his hands while she felt so much heavy to walk herself…..

She said to me… that one great thing if marrying a pious husband who love you… he will always take care of you…and always feel pain that you feel…

Another sister
She was in very nervous because her husband came home late..She called all people that she know to ask if they know where her husband.

What was inside her mind was very worry, not suspicious feeling. Because after years of their marriage never once he came late without inform her…That was the first time.

Alhamdulillah her husband finally came up. That day there was heavy rain…he was stuck in somewhere, he couldn’t call his wife because her cellular low battery.

They have so wonderful life. They share all things…, they use the same cellular number, use the same email address. Never let any secret behind… They like two bodies one soul who share all things together…

MashaAllah….

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam said that " the Believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behavior, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives." [At- Tirmidhi]. Narrated by Abu Hurairah

See sisters…..
The good man indeed still exists…
Some of them already married…. :)..
But inshaAllah be patience… Allah will make you meet one of them soon….

"……Our Lord! Grant unto us spouse and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." Ameen

Rytha
Batam 14 March 2007

~Our Prayers – Part 2~

Why those sisters prayed earlier for fajr in the airport?

Maybe they thought, they were in the state of traveling so it’s allowed to pray earlier.

Maybe they had to board into the airplane soon…so that they thought It’s better to pray earlier compare than not pray fajr at all…

Wallahualam….

As short as my understanding, it is not allowed to pray earlier although we are in the state of traveling. There are some Rukhshah [ease] that Allah gives for travelers, but it’s not to pray earlier than its prescribed time.

We are allowed to gather and shorten prayer during traveling, but they have to be done in its prescribed time. When we want to gather and shorten Dhur and Ashr, we do it in the time of Dhur or Ashr. When we want to gather Maghrib and Isha, we do it in the time of Maghrib or Isha.

We indeed have to be very mindful and careful to care our fajr time, because we can’t gather fajr with any other prayer and the time of fajr is quite short.

Allah gives us so much ease. There are no reasons to do something or create something outside of this deen…

In previous situation, actually those sisters could pray in waiting room before board to airplane, because the journeys with airplane usually it’s required about one hour or even 2 hours to check in before boarding. It‘s sufficient time to pray first.

We can pray anywhere, the scholars only made very few exceptions where we can’t pray such as graveyard and lavatories. Even if one can find no other place than a church, it is permissible to pray in it. Wallahualam.

Just in case the fajr time just starts when we are already in the airplane, we are allowed to pray inside the airplane, because it is allowed to pray on moving vehicle.

Before board to the airplane we can take abolition in the toilet. It will be so much ease if we always try to have wudhu whenever we depart from home. So that when we get into the airplane we already have wudhu. We can pray in our seat in any direction during our flight….inshaAllah…

Just in case we break our wudhu, we may do tayamum… if we can’t find dust [usually no dust on airplane], we still can pray with any condition [even with no wudhu], but according to my experience had national and international flights, it always available water in the toilet.

The same case when we have travel by train and bus. If we are traveling use private car we can stop and pray on the side of road if can’t find masjid along the road.

If only we couldn’t catch the airplane or the bus or the train or reach the destination in late because we perform prayer first…For true a believer it should be more lightly compare than depart from A place but with waswas if they will find chance to pray during the journey or even worse miss the prayer times…

The feeling of missing one single prayer it just can’t be replaceable by anything in this world. The regret and guilty feeling will keep haunted the heart of believers…

Alhamdulillah I ever prayed on the airplane, on the ship, on the bus, on the train, in the airport at non Moslem country, in a port at non Moslem country, etc… People around only watch, some of them did not care, some of them only wondering.. All have to do, just be calm, be normal and give them smiles if they still look at you after finish praying…. It’s good if they ask further, it’s a chance for da’wah for non Moslem. InshaAllah through our actions it’s also a chance of da’wah to encourage our Moslem brothers and sister who feelings shy to show their identity as Moslem which actually that kind of shyness prevent them to do their obligation as Moslems…

Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wassalam said: “If I command you to do a thing, do as much of it as you can.” Narrated by Muslim (1337).

Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam even prayed sunnah on his camel…

Subhanallah …this deen is so easy….This deen already completed, there is no room for innovation and creativeness in the matter of ibadah….wallahualam…

“So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you can” [al-Taghaabun 64:16].

Lahaula walla quwata illa billah…

To be continue inshaAllah….

Rytha N
Batam 4 September 2007


*Writing make me read*
*Read make me learning new things*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Advance Reading Please Check the Scholars fatwa bellow

They knew that they would miss the prayer on the plane so they prayed a few minutes before the time for it began

Praying in a moving vehicle

Praying on a plane when one is unable to stand or face the qiblah

How should a passenger on an airplane do wudoo’ if there is no water?

~Our Prayers – Part 1~

I arrived in the airport earlier because it would give time to pray fajr before boarding. I went to nearby prayer room in the airport, fajr time was still long. I started reading the Qur’an waited for fajr. Some muslimah came in. They took wudhu, and then prayed…

At first I thought mashaAllah they were praying for sunnah [Qiyamul lail]. But when they left straight away after the pray I started wondering…Did they just pray fajr? What’s time now? I asked a sister next to me… It was about one hour more to fajr time…

After some times, one lady came in, she approached me and asked what time for fajr…I told her the time for fajr is after 15 minutes. She paused for sometimes…. But she saw some other muslimah praying…she started pray fajr too….astaghfirullah…..

In another day…. I had my flight just close to my boarding time…Before depart from the place I stay; I asked my companion if we would find place for pray fajr in airport…. He said… “You just pray now before we leave”… I replied…”It’s still not reach the fajr time”… He said… “Just pray and don’t take risk if we have chance in airport we can pray again “…. Astaghfirullah, May Allah forgives him …..

Alhamdulillah I could pray fajr in airport – in the corner of waiting room.

I believe many of us facing this kind of situations. Not only about the traveling but also the exams, meetings, etc that started earlier than prayer times

Allah subhana wa ta’ala say : “Verily, As-Salaah (the prayer) is enjoined on the believers at fixed hours” [al-Nisa’ 4:103]

It is permissible to offer the prayer at any point within the time for each prayer, whether at the beginning, in the middle or at the end, the best is in the beginning… but prayer earlier before the time, it is “totally” impermissible. If we do it consciously, our pray will not valid and we are also not free from sins. If we do it because we do not know it still not come to prayer time… we should repeat our pray when we realize we did pray not in time… wallahuam.. .

We sometimes make an excuse that It's better to do it earlier rather than not pray at all, say Allah the most Gracious, Allah is very understanding, He will forgive us….

In fact, doing something only based on good intentions but with no basis it won’t be accepted. Allah already made the rules, through His messenger sallahu alahi wassalam He gives us clear guidances…. So there will be no excuse if we do something outside the guidance… it means we disobey Him and make our own rules……

However Allah never burdens His slaves over than their abilities…

Allah knows best.

To be continue inshaAllah….

Rytha N
Batam 4 September 2007

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 3 ~

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

Aishah…My Dear sweetheart…

Thank you dear for clearly explanation to help me understand your feelings.

Dear...... please forgive me for all trouble you felt. I promise inshaAllah will never do anything that trouble you anymore. I will try my best to give you feeling the secure of love without any doubt. There will be no space for syaithan to whisper any waswas to caste any doubt inside your heart. Your happiness will be mine… Only with your pleasure and content we will feel the blessing of this marriage to make us feel the real life of tranquility.

You are my soul partner, the closest person in my life, and true companion who always be the mirror of me… a mirror that will always correct me whenever you find something mistake with me… you will clean my mirror if there is black spot on its surface, because if you ignore those spots you cant see your true reflection clearly yourself, it's a failure as a spouse when we cant help our spouse to keep in his/her right track.

Dear… I need you always to help me to understand what you think.. What you need… what make you happy… I need you to pull me back if I am going to off the track. Please correct me politely with all your tenderness and wisdom.

There is something that I want to tell you…

You are the first woman that I know closely but my own mother and my little sister. Marriage suddenly make me have to learn about woman… an unique creature… mashaAllah a lot that I have to learn and to explore….

It's hardly to guess what inside your mind…. you cry when you are sad, you also cry when you are happy.... Sometimes you hardly saying something in a day… but in another day you could talk whole days… mashaAllah…

In your pregnancy time, things go harder to me dear…. Your mood swing often, fluctuations from sweet to the gloomy…

Suddenly you get so much sensitive about anything…. You even look sensitive about your changing body shape. Do you realize how many times a day you go in front of mirror and explore your tummy and ask me many time… how you look like?… I assure you dear… you look great and still gorgeous all the time… I am not lying… pregnancy make you look more fresh and beautiful… your chubby cheek make you look more cute and sweet… Be confident with yourself dear…. Be confident with our bond of love that will be never fade with superficial things.. inshaAllah…

Sometimes you were being so much jealousy… I do assure you that you the only woman in my heart. You fill my days with so much love and care till there is no space remains for other…Your true attention and sincere care help me a lot to keep me strongger from the temptations outside…

Dear..... sometimes I just can’t comprehend why you ask so many times in a day if I love you… How much I love you. It sometimes made me worry if you still doubt with my love? Have I given you with sufficient care and attention?…. I admit sometimes I was so much busy and I might lack of attention, but there is no time that pass but with keep you always in my thoughts…

Dear…. It is a great blessing from Allah to make you be my wife. The most precious treasure, the best joy in my life….... I will inshaAllah try to care this trust to be your qowam…

Honestly, I must feel so bad if I know my dear wife keep talking about the other man. I feel so much humiliate even for slightly thing that touch your honor and chastity. You are treasure to me more than any precious treasure on this earth because you – my virtuous wife is the most precious treasure in this earth that Allah has blessed to me…alhamdulillah.

I feel so much jealous even to see other seeing your beautiful face, alhamdulillah I am very grateful you understand my ghirah and never reveal your beauty but for me…never connect with any non Mahram behind my back…always caring your chastity during my absent…

How could I expect something from my dear when I even can’t give the same from you.

This marriage already bonded our soul to be one. There will be no privacy, no secrete that I want to keep from you. All what my belonging will be yours.… You may company me wherever I go, especially when I have to go out of city that will keep me pure and secure. This is the tradition of our salaf, they always had their wife companion even when they went to jihad.

Dear.... you can manage my bank account, as you are my financial adviser, this is one of responsibility of a righteous wife to care her husband wealth … All my belongings will be yours…..You can read all my books..You may bring my cellular when you visit your parents’ house.....You have all privilege to explore my laptop, open my files, my emails, and do anything you like with them… You may use my messengers and delete anyone that you don’t like to be on my buddy list, you can make sure there will be non mahram sisters listed there if their presents could give a space of syaithan to create doubt in your heart.

I give you all the privilege to get into details of my life. I trust you.... You are my dear wife…. There is nothing that I want to hide from you….. There will be no secret between us…..Nothing that you do not know about me…InshaAllah…

Please tell me if I missed something…

You may tell any request what you like I do…. I must try to approve all what you want …… When a man happy that only happiness for himself…but when a woman happy that mean all people will be happy …I will try my best to keep you happy and content….

I love you sweet heart….You inshaAllah will be my eternal behalf….Please keep shining like the moon for my dark night… Be always as the sun of the days….You are the best joy in the life .. The best gift that Allah bless to me…..

Yours forever
Fiamanillah
Ahmad.

To be continues inshaAllah…..
Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 2~

My dear husband Ahmad….
Please ignore all what I have written previously dear….

I am not crying because regretting of discontinue relationship with any other non mahram man. I believe that what I should do.

The marriage is not a start for a muslimah to caring their husband feeling. It should start from long time back even before she meets him…… not for the sake of the man that going to be her destined only, but for the sake to please here Rabb… Allah subhana wata’ala….

I am just feeling jealousy dear….

Crying is my only weapon …..
I can’t be like Sa’ad bin Ubada who said if he was to see a man with his wife, he would has struck him with the sword, and not with the flat part (side) of it. [1]

I will not able to strike anyone with sword, Allah knows best, I even do not have courage to say you any words that can hurt your feelings..I am not saying I am afraid of you as there is no one that I should afraid but Allah..I am just trying my best to care your feelings and comfort.

Do you know dear...seeing you in trouble it harder to me than stricken by hundreds swords…. My eyes will hardly taste sleep until you are happy and please. It my weakness as woman that sometimes cant voice what we feel… because doesnt want to cause bitterness in our dear heart…..We tend choose to swallow the bitterness ourselves than create shadow into our dear heart……

Hence I only can cry myself or silent.

Dear..there are a lot of our brothers in Islam who are so nice, witty, famous, wealthy, but they are not my husband, having relationship with them is meant nothing if that cost of hurting your feelings….. I try my best take care you gheerah [protective jealousy], I do not want to upset you even if the offer of friendship from the purest.

I will never betray you when you are present. I will care your honor more when you are absent. There will be no man step in our house when you are away….not from doors of our house…and not from the windows of any instant messengers

Dear, a wonderful sahabiyyah….Asma binti Abu Bakar chose to walk carry on her heavy head the stones of the dates 2 miles away rather than accept the offer of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam along with group of companion for a ride.[2] She could accept it but She felt shy to go with man and she remembers Zubair – her husband and his gheerah. She decline the offer of Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam

Doesn’t matter the jealously that I feel and how deep you ever hurt me… I will inshaAllah always considering your feeling….. The hardship, won’t be the justification to ignoring your jealousy, your feelings…..

I shall always be faithful to you since the holy bond has joined us. Such a relation would not have existed but for your faith and religious commitment and your accepting to marry me. Caring your feeling is so sacred and things that I don’t like to speculate….

I am just really feeling jealousy dear….

Please don’t worry dear….
I don’t hate you, I don’t angry to you , I don’t have any bad feeling about you, I don’t suspect you are committing something sin. Na’uzubillah. This is just the feeling of jealousy; Pure jealousy to my dear husband that I love dearly

Do you feel strange with my jealousy honey?

When Allah's Messenger Sallahu alahi wassalam heard about Sa’ad’s jealousy to his wife with other man, Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam said: Are you surprised at Sa'd's jealousy of his honour? By Allah, I am more jealous of my honor than he, and Allah is more jealous than I. [3]

Al-Tabari and other scholars said: Jealousy on the part of women is to be overlooked and they are not to be punished for it because it is part of their nature.[4]

Some centuries ago there was a lady that more pious, smarter, prettier than your wife. She has same name like me. She is our mother ummul mu’minin Aishah Radiyallahu anhu…..She experienced the same like what I am feeling right now….

This jealousy doesn’t always mean I don’t trust and believe in you, I do trust and believe in your whole my heart. Our bond of love has been framed by sacred the marriage. Our true commitment in front of Allah…But Jealousy is just something different. It’s a nature dear; the ingredient of love….It is the sign of love itself. No woman is free from, so long as she does not overstep the mark and do or say anything that Allaah has forbidden, Allah forgive her…wallahualam….

Which man that more noble, pure and trustworthy than Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam? He sallahu alahi wassalam is a perfect husband. Nobody doubts how Ummul mu’minin Aishah trust him dearly……..

Once ummul mu’minin said never felt so jealous of any woman as I did of Khadija, though she had died three years before the Prophet married me, and that was because I heard him mentioning her too often, and because his Lord had ordered him to give her the glad tidings that she would have a palace in Paradise, made of Qasab and because he used to slaughter a sheep and distribute its meat among her friends. [5] It is as if there had never been any other woman in the world except Khadijah."

Ummul mu’minin Aishah jealous to her husband’s co wife khadijah, even if she never met khadijah, Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam always mention her.

What about a wife should feel if her husband mentioning about the other woman who not halal for him often? I believe they have right to feel more jealous….

I hope you understand my feelings dear….
I would rather you do not mention about your ex- fiancé often. Please don’t remind me if you did love her a lot now and then…. I have understood it. But it’s hard to comprehend that right now I am the only one in your heart if you keep mentioning her name or any other woman.

If woman is not allowed describing about the other woman in front of her husband because it would be fitnah for her husband, I believe a husband also shouldn't describe about the other woman in front of his wife because it could cause the evils easily whispering bad things and cause jealousy into his wife's heart….

In Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam’s polygamies marriage… jealousy among his wives is a halal competition to reach Rasulullah attention, to get more his love.

It's very strange and really inappropriate if a wife should be in struggle to reach her husband attention with other non mahram woman who even do not halal for her husband. A good husband will not put his wife in such low condition…. She shouldn’t in competition with these women…. A competition only fair if they have the same status and class… A Wife and non mahram woman, they are exactly different…..A wife should already be the only winner in her husband's heart since the ijab and the qabul being pronounced in the aqad of marriage.

Dear ...I have a lot more to write ….but I already feeling pain on my back…I need to lie down...InshaAllah I will write to you more latter….

Please forgive me if I am saying something wrong ... I am sincerely do not have any intention to hurt you...

May Allah forgive me if my jealousy cause so much trouble in your in these days... May Allah keep the bond of our love stronger....

With so much love

Fiamanillah
Your wife
Aishah





To be continues inshaAllah…..
Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N


[1] HR Muslim Book 009, Number 3572
[2] HR Muslim Book 026, Number 5417
[3] HR Muslim Book 026, Number 5417
[4] Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah, 1/248
[5] HR Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 33:

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 1~

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

My dearest husband Ahmad….

I am sorry to make you worry for my silent in these days…. I know my silent make you worry and wondering what happening with me… Please don’t worry dear…. I just need time to think…..

After thinking in these few days I now completely understand why you keep your relationship with some sisters after our marriage. You must have bored that I hint you to discuss about this topic for some times…

I understand now, your relationship with these sisters mean nothing. Just like you have told me so many times that they are nothing, I am the only one in your heart and I don’t need to feel jealousy. Your love to me just can’t compare to them…. Your relationship with them is just merely as brother and sister. I shouldn’t suspect anything bad. They keep in touch with you just for your advice and assistance because you are their learned and wise brother in Islam. You are their good wise, hardly to lost a good advisor like you….

Well, you know very much that I trust you and never think bad about whatever your do.

Dear….I completely understands now why you still keep your ex-fiancé name in your buddy list and why you keep answer or email her sometimes. I know my pious husband must only just try to keep the silaturrahim and maintain a good relationship with his sister in Islam and her family….

MashaAllah she really has very beautiful unique name, it’s silly I felt jealousy when you gave her name for your little sister. I feel stupid why I just realize although I have seen her name so many times on your mailbox and on your messenger list.

However she is learned muslimah…mashaAllah… she has some links with respectable sheikh from outstanding institution. She must have so many literatures to share, a very smart sister who have huge knowledge….That must give so many advantage to keep maintain relationship with her just in case you need her help in future….She must be very good buddy to discus and help you to solve some difficult Islamic fiqih matter…..

By the way…. I also understand why you told me many times that you loved her truly. However she was almost being your wife. I should understand that must be truly difficult to forget. Well we hardly to forget good people, especially that person ever been part of our life.

I shouldn’t complain anything…..the otherwise I should be very grateful my husband trust me and share me his deepest feelings. I understand dear…it’s so difficult when we really love someone but then things go to other direction…. It’s qadarullah honey…….

Therefore….

It makes me think… I am very bad muslimah, a very bad sister in Islam. I have hurt so many brothers. I have been refusing so many brothers who try to make relationship with me. You know dear… they are actually very sincere brothers…. Most of them were very nice; they interest to study about Islam more mashaAllah. I even said to my male friends that I would never talk with them anymore, especially through messenger.

Some of them were very sad …. They said I am their good advisor, they begged me to keep talk to them just purely as brother and sister in Islam and having innocent talk now and then…. Some of them so much adore me…. Please don’t mistaken dear, they just adore of my good quality as friends, as sister….

I think now.... I have to contact each of them … and welcome them again…. I know you will not think bad, you know me.. and you trust me I must just talk with them for the sake of brotherhood and dakwah… Well we trust each other so much… right honey?

I can only talk with them when you are working outside…. So that I still can give my fully attention for you when you are at home, I will not talk with them when you at home. You sometimes work so hard and spend a lot of time outside dear…. So I guess I have to do something benefit to fill my time, to do da’wah for these brothers while waiting you back home from work...….

Anyway dear…. … we only talk in messenger.. They can’t see my face…. I knew one brother, he was so witty. He used to throw some jokes… Actually I enjoy talking with him [just as friend honey], previously we only just friend and I will assure you it will remain like that…Please don’t worry honey… He can’t see if I smiles sweetly for him, he only just see bold yellow smiley icon on messenger… I swear that you the only one who can see my sweet smiles….

By the way dear… Do you remember about my ex- fiancé? You do love his name, right? You even remember his name completely …. Isn’t it a very good idea if I am going to give my ex fiancé name for our baby… mashaAllah ..

InshaAllah we are going to have baby boy after one month but we still haven’t found good name for him….God bless me… why this brilliant idea just come up now……How could I didn’t realize he has very good name. I just made some research on Google…. It has very beautiful meaning dear…. You must love it dear..…

I can imagine we call our baby with his name everyday….. That will make me remember him at anytime I see my son…Well it’s not something wrong to keep remembering good people…right dear? Please don’t bother about it… you do know very well that you the only one in my heart……

Right now… I am crying to think how cruel I am… Maybe this is the biggest mistake cut all my communiqué with him… You know how cruel I am.. I never answered his calls…I never replied his text messages……I ignored all his emails….I even stopped to talk with anyone who related to him……How could I do that….. He is not bad man actually, he is a hafidz, and he used to study in Islamic university. Astaghfirullah I don’t know why I could be that cruel….

I think he just wants to keep friendship with me as brother and sister in Islam…It absolutely nothing wrong to keep maintain the brotherhood even if the engagement was called off…..

Anyway… I will apologize to him for my childish behavior …. Actually I never hate my brother in Islam… but I thought it what I should do as muslimah to guard the ghirah of my future husband…. Well I understand now… it not actually like that… it doesn’t matter anymore as our marriage based on so much trust and understanding….

It sounds very good idea if I keep following his life now... Silly me.. I even don’t know anything about him now…I don’t know if he married or not, happy or not…. I don’t know if his parents still remember me, what they think about me now……. Strange I don’t know about him in fact we ever almost married before….He and his family must miss to hear about me a lot…. Maybe I have to call them sometimes…. Mmmm maybe at least I should call them on EID day….

You know dear I just realize how important we have link with learn people…. He also has many connections with some religious people, he knows some sheikh personally [well he was an Islamic student]…. You know how much I thirst of knowledge and want always learn a lot. I can ask him some questions when you are so busy to answer my questions… He will be so much helpfull.

He also from high status family, with so many respectable colleagues, and well known politician family, must know many famous people too… Even I read in newspaper his uncle just won the election….mashaAllah Isn’t that great dear?……He maybe can help us much in the future… Well we don’t know what kind help that we need… So for now I have to keep sweet when talk with him [of course strictly in the Islamic manner] . I will show my regret how I have ignored him this long….

Better I am in hurry now to reconciling with all these broken relationships…..

Thanks dear for make me think and help me to get back my awareness…. …….
Don’t worry dear… I will make you know all of them…well you let me know all your females friends… I also will do the same… We do understanding and trust each other so much…


Take care honey ….

With much of love
fiamanillah
Your Wife
Aishah…..




PS:
I am just kidding honey…
I am just trying to put you in my shoes….so you can feel what I feel clearly
Can you understand my feeling now dear?



To be Continue InshaAllah .......

Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N

~For all My Dear brothers and My Dear sisters part 2~

Part I I


My dear sisters….
Allah gifts a lot of special blessings…
Allah trusts you to carry “rahim” [womb]…
That makes your nature different…
Makes you full of affection,
Your touch is tenderness,
You smile is sweetness..
You are an amazing beautiful creation
You are a charming creation
Your graceful movement
Your “killing” smiles

You are beautiful
Always beautiful
You are sweet
Always sweet
You are unique…
With your own way…
You are always special…
You are attractive no matter how you look like’

But

You are a real temptation for your fellow brothers….
You will be
You will always be ….
Like it or dislike it
Even if you never intend to
Even if you never plan to
They will fall on your laps…

My dear sisters….
I know some of you are very strict [in real]
I know you are trying always to be a real muslimah
Who love Qur’an wa sunnah
But easy to get carry away [on net]

My dear sincere sisters….
Please think over this

Would you mix and talk that free with all those guys in person?
Would you crack those "Islamic jokes" with those guys in person?
Remember of those *LOLs*….*awwwww*……”wwoooowww”….
Would you do really express that way if you met those guys in person?

Would you feel comfortable spending so much time with these guys in person?
Are you comfortable….?
Extremely comfortable…..?
VERY comfortable…….?

My dear sisters…..
Will a good brother waste their time just for talk?
Will a good brother share you every single thing?

Do you like if your husband shares their secret with another woman?
Do you like if your husband shares their joke with another woman?

My dear sisters
Don’t flower your mind to think you are the only woman he talks with
You probably one in hundreds….
Don’t feel as someone special
You the one who make yourself special
Don’t nurture those feelings…
They may sweet but for nothing….
They act same with hundreds of his female buddies…

Perhaps
They just try to be polite…
They just try to be nice…
They just try to be gentle….
They just try to help
They just try to care your feelings…
They just do not want to hurt you…
They just try to convey messages…

Perhaps
They wish you could understand yourself
They wish you could away without they say things…
They wish soon you would know your limit
They wish you soon gain your consciousness
They wish you know when you should stop yourself…

My Dear sisters…
They may say they NEVER talk with woman [AT ALL]…
You surprise
You do feel so special
You feel be the Only ONE
You feel so lucky on earth…

Please …….Be smart!!!

Is he from Mars?
Is he living outer space… is he an alien… ?
Is living in the middle of no where…?
Didn’t he ever go outside…?

Ok perhaps He does Never…..

But

Perhaps He is not sociable person
Perhaps He is an awkward person
Perhaps He has problem in interpersonal skill…
Perhaps He indifferent with his fellow sisters…
Perhaps He not a sensitive person
Perhaps He perhaps type of man who will run away even if saw his fellow sister being abuse…
Perhaps He perhaps type of man who will avoid passing his fellow sisters who need help…

Or

He is a big big liar……!!!

Be rational

Don’t make your feelings overwhelm you
Don’t make your feelings dominate your rationality,…

Oh My dear sisters..
I don’t mean to destroy you romantic dream about him…
I don’t mean to tarnish your sweet perception about him…..
I might be wrong…
Perhaps he is indeed not one what I have been listed above,…
But you have to know
The probability could be 1 in billions

My dear sweet sisters,…
Please open your heart
Please open your eyes…
Those rarest pearls …really rare breed….
They will not appear in every places…

If they have good intention over you
If they are really a real mu’min
They will know the rules…
They will know the way…
They will be a responsible person
They will not abuse their faith by justification their action
They will not play with a sacred sunnah
Just to take chance to talk with you in person…

My dear sisters…
A real pearl doesn’t need light to make it shining
A sun doesn’t need heater to make it warm
Oceans do not need salt to make it salty…
They are shining themselves…
The light… the salt … already be part of them…
They will keep shining even if buried in the deepest oncean
They are precious without advertisement,…
That also….. a real mu’min…
A wa’ra…tawadhu… mu’min
Will not use their quality just for the sake to make you fall on his laps…
They perhaps did same way to crush other heart…

My Dear sisters…
There are many who love to talk
But they do not really understand what they talk
There are many who will offer you proposal
But they actually do not understand what it is
They do not have idea how sacred it is
Go challenge them with real actions
Go challenge them to be real gentlemen
You will know for real…

Do they say they never have girl friends…
It doesn’t mean they know the religion
That could be they do not have chance due the culture restriction….

My Dear sisters….
You may say you are confidence
You may say you know the limit
You may say you will always try to be stern
You may say you are a strong person
You may say you will lead the flow

But my dear…
For how long?

My Dear sisters
It’s not only about you
But you deal with other heart
With other mind
Their heart, their mind …. out of your control
You perhaps could confidence about your strength
But you never able to control their strength
You never able to set what they should feel about you
You cant stop them to in love with you…
You cant tell them please do not think about you…
You cant ask them please stop adore you…

My dear sisters…
You never know what inside their brain…
If only they could accept your smile just same as those bold yellow icon…

My Dear sisters….
Please help those fellow brothers….
You not only responsible to care your own soul
But also …please do not put yourself as a temptation
You should not make yourself become a disease in one’s heart
You couldn’t say you never intend to…
You couldn’t say that not your fault…

Please be honest…

My Dear sisters….
The number of man who get crush on you ..
It not always reflects how good you are…
That not something nice to boast proudly…
It perhaps shows…. something wrong in you…
That could be a sign of your near failure
That could be a real destruction…

My Dear sisters…
You heart by nature so soft..

My Dear sisters….
See….those massive hard stones….
If it was fallen by just “a drop water” continuously
It would leave “a big hole”
Lets alone your tender heart…it would be “a huge” hole….

You never know when your iman down…
You never know when you are weak
But syaitan will be there patiently waiting your failure…

A small sin will create a black spot in your white heart
Finally it will turn become black
It will make your heart death
You will never able to find the way back….

Prevention always better than curing…
Better to away from trap in complication…

You may say that you only talk with good ones…
Remember good brother will be temptation for good sister
You will be temptation for good brother…

My dear sisters….
At times you start any relationship
Please take a thought
Where things would lead you
A real Moslem will never do something without a clear intention…
Allah will count your intention….
A real Moslem should know what will be the destination
Will you be his chat email friend forever….?
Share things forever?
Tell every single thing forever?
He knows what you do from 4 am to 4 pm…?
He knows what you do from Sunday to Sunday… ?

My dear sisters
The more you involve
The more your close
The more you will not able to leave
The more you will not able to stop

You heart so soft..
You are so nice
You will think thousand things
You afraid to offend him
You afraid make him cry
You afraid destroy his life
You afraid he commits suicide
You afraid he will go astray
You think he will not able live without you…

The syaithan will be happy…
They will clap their hands
If their legs could clap… They would clap too
New victims come to the circle…

You flower your minds
With all those sentimental feelings…
You will suffer and suffer not able run from the circle…
Dear Trust me…. They will not do that
If they do….. that irrefutable prove…. how stupid he is…
Do you want to end up you life with a stupid one?

My Dear sisters…
The constant interaction…
Will lead you in confusion
not able to compare between pity…sympathy… and love…

My Dear young sisters
Sometimes you just try to be polite…
You try to care a good manner…
But response not always what you hope…
You are in global villages
You should learn the global languages…
You should understand the global gesture…
You should able to deal with so many heads

If you have tried your best
If you have done your duty
You should find the way for safe your faith
You do not have any responsibility anymore
You have done what you should do
You are not cruel…
The otherwise you save his soul sooner

My Dear sisters….
Remember Allah watch over you…
Allah know even the deepest of you heart
You know the best who are you
You know the best what your doing
You know the best your capacity

You do really discuss your deen?
You do sincerely to invite people to your deen ?

But

Why you busy keep on till the late of night
Where is time for talk with your Lord
How you lost your precious private time with Lord
If you sleep 3 am 2 am… 4 am… where you would sleep
How you lost the precious the last 1/3rd night
When Allah comes closer to you
When you build inside strong spiritually

My Dear sisters…
Do you know What Google, AltaVista, yahoo, for?
Do you know thousands Islamic website available?
Do you know thousands Islamic Scholar available?
Please, you do use them maximally …
Before jump talking to any man, even if in the pretext of learning…
You do have a bunch of females’ buddies…
Please, go to them to share and study…
You do not worry if you act like a stupid…
You may express yourself freely…
You can be a sweet as you like

My Dear sisters…
May Allah make you be great wife like Khadijah bin khwalid ra
May Allah help you to be a great mother like Fatimah binti Muhammad…
May Allah make you be great scholar like Aisyah binti Abu Bakar ra
May Allah make you practice a great patience like Ashiah ra
May Allah help you to observe ghirah
and take care your husband heart like Asma binti abu Bakar
May Allah help you to as smart as Queen Balqis
as wise as Ummu Sulaim …
InshaAllah you are as beautiful as Attikah who companied all her husband as a syuhada…

Wallahualam bishshowab…..

Oh my Dear Lord…
You know very best what lies inside my heart,
You know best how sinner this soul…
You know best what hidden ….what conceal,

My Dear Lord
Please save me first from all the hypocrisy

My Dear Lord
Give me the tawfiq to follow what I have said

My Dear Lord,…
Give me from the blaze of your hell flame…

Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika
Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika
Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika

Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin
Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin
Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin

Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika
Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika
Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika

Rytha
Bandung, 12 May 2005

~For all My Dear brothers and My Dear sisters part 1~

This is an old wrting.... I thought good to share...

Dear Akhwat wa Ikhwah fillah

Assallammu'alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh....

I have restrained myself to not write about this topic personally. But this matter has been killing my heart and my souls many times…… astaghfirullah… I was angry a lot of time [especially with myself] due of my disability to convey the messages. But how could I say I love you for the sake of Allah if I don’t able to convey the truth…

Please consider them as my sincere effort to do my responsibility and to fulfill your right in the process doing amar ma’ruf nahi munkar…

Fiamanillah
Rytha
Bandung, 12 May 2005

Something which basically is permissible… but if the user are not responsible people.....it could lead to much destruction…

I might write so many mistake… those mistake from my shallowness…. please forgive ..

But all the truth from Allah …

The first part is for brothers…the second part is for sisters….



Part I


“My dear brother”
Who are you in your real life
What are in your real life…

You may say you are a real modest man,
Who care your gaze,
You may say you are a real gentleman
With beard…

People may say you are a real cool mu’min
People may say you are a real practicing man
People may say you are like scholar man
People may say you are respectable man
People may say they adore you as a real gentleman…

Be like that also on the net

If declared you never talk with woman in your real life..
Please don’t justify your interaction on the net

Al least
Please be consistent with what your belief…

Saying never talked with non maharam even more than 1 minute
But turn become a real chatter box
Spending hours chat with non mahram
Sharing every single detail
Comment every single thing

Please don’t be too sweet
Act as if a charming prince
Leaving poison into many hearts
Playing with other emotion

Please keep your charm to your wife [to be]
Please keep your jokes for your wife [to be]

Some of you were very knowledgeable people
A Da’wah worker
Respectable people

Brothers
Remember Allah knows best what lies inside your heart’
Allah knows of the tricks that deceive with the eyes,
Allah knows all that the hearts (of men) conceal.

Don’t abuse the Qur’an wa Sunnah
Don’t use them to product fatwa to support your lust
Don’t use them to justify your actions

You do feel comfort because you shouldn’t face her
You feel comfort because she doesn’t see you
You think there is massive wall between you and her

There is distance between you and her
Have you found any scholars make a new definition of hijab?

Brothers
The adultery of the eyes is the sight,
The adultery of the tongue is the talk,
The adultery of heart is imagination
The private parts testify all this or deny it

Be honest…..
What hijab you put between your hearts?
What hijab you put to control your mind?
You know best what lays both inside….

Is that just a simple screen?…
Is that just text?….

Don’t you know
You are talking with a real human being…
They are a real human being with heart,
They were created with bones…. flesh….blood
They have right to be respected
They have right to be treated like human being
They are not toys to play with
To filling your spare time
To be part of your adventure
To kill your loneliness…
To be part of your experience…
To be part of your wild inspiration…

Brothers…
Marriage is a scared things..
Please don’t use that “magic” word to trap sincere sister…
Please don’t use that “magic” word to ask their pictures…
Please don’t use that “magic” word to justify your interactions…
In pretext of getting to know each other….

Do you know what mean of that word?
Do you understand what is responsibility?
Do you comprehend every action lead to the consequences ?

Most of time you do not understand the consequences…
You do not know even how to move your fingers…
You will make your heart dirty..
You will make your life complicated…
Never start thing that you never able to responsible…
Never start thing if you do not know what the follow up…
Please act as a real gentleman…
Please do learn how to do the right process…

You do know how to fall in love
But do not know what you should do with that love

Life already hard
Don’t play with the fire
Don’t play with things that out of your control…

Brothers..
Please
Go learn the Qur’an
Go read the tafsir
Go read the sunnah
Go read the syarah
Go read the syirah…

But please do not use the religion to fit your desire…

Brothers…
You were born and raised with some values
Don’t make “internet” as a facility to break those values…

Be consistent…. Be consistent…

Some of you belong to family/culture detest girl talk with man
You even will not tolerant if you find your young sister talk with guy on net
You forbid your woman to talk with man.

Since you were born
You have created what is a perfect girl in your mind
One who never talk with man…
The pure one….
The innocent ….
The untouchable…
With the virgin heart….

But

That really inconsistent…. if
Your actions created impurity to other heart
Your sweet words destroy innocents’ heart
You fill so many hopes inside one’s heart….

Then you abandon her

You spent time with someone that you do not want to end up
You know at the first place not fit with your type
They do not fit you value
You spend hours being close but you consider them just nothing

You think
You can go and come anytime in your idle times
No need think about responsibility
You may escape anytime
You may run anytime
You are unreachable…
You are untouchable…
You are safe….

You may just simple start you life with new one
Another sweet innocent that had been set up

Don’t you know..
You might broke one innocent heart
That heart might bleeding for the rest of her life

Sleep tightly
Enjoy your life
Beside your beauty wife
But remember you will meet your lord in hereafter
You will meet her in hereafter drag you to the flame of hell fire…

Brothers
Some of you are married…
Tease and play around with young girl
Are you searching inspiration?
Do you need to refresh your old soul with the spirit of young?

Saying never loves your wife….
Saying never feels any happiness from the day one
Wondering….. How you made she pregnant…

You are man with a lot experience
You know all the tricks
You know how to grasp their heart
You how tame those pure gems

What actually you want?
What do you want from them?
Don’t you know the consequences what you do?
Don’t you think about your wife?
Don’t you think how she feel if she finds you chat around, tease around with girl?

Please go look yourself in front of mirror
See those gray hairs
Remember your doom
See your young daughter
Look at your dear young blood sisters
Do you like if man treats them like the way you treat these young sisters?

Brothers
Can’t you see a woman just like a simple sister?
As simple young sister
As simple young daughter
who need your advice
who need your protection
who need simple respect

Act as an uncle
Act like as big brother
Act like their father…
Please do not chase to them always
To be your forth wife…

You hide your real name
Your real location
You want to hide from people
If you make wrong …you still safe your reputation

Astaghfirullah…

My Dear brothers
Where is the responsible gone?
Where is the shame gone?
Is that what said as the best ummah ?

If Umar still alive he would hit your head with his stick
He might behead you with his sword

You are a qowam
Allah raise you higher with that title..
To carry more responsibility
There are huge responsibilities on your shoulder
You are our hope to revive the ummah

You responsible to care you sisters
You should protect them
Not act like a wolf who ready to eat them
Not act like a evil who ready to trapped them
Not act like a devil who will ready to mislead them
Not act like a “bastard” who destroys their life…

Give them space…
Instead giving insecure feeling
They always alert with your presence
They try to hide their gender
They have to lie about their status
They hesitate to speak
They hesitate to contribute

Don’t teach them more how to hide
Don’t put them in condition to be an expert liar
In the sake of protection

Brothers
What do you feel?
Didn’t that click you something?
Dint that lower your dignity?
How could you become that low?
Your fellow sisters should protect themselves that way…
Didn’t you feel like a harm contagious disease?

Young brothers…
Please utilize your time…
Instead monitoring women’s Id
The responsibility in your shoulder is bigger…

Remember Muhammad Al Fatih Murad
Remember Usamah bin Zaid
Remember Abdullah bin Zubair
Remember all your great predecessors..

They conquered Rome
They conquered Persian
They conquered Constantinople

Shame of you
All in your mind just about conquer girls…

Think what you contribute for the ummah
What you have done for Islam….
Learn their life journey
Follow their trait….

Please…
We should build a health environment
Apply the real teaching of Qur’an wa Sunnah
No suspicious
No envious
Taking care each other
Join in good
Forbid in evil
Protect each other dignity and the honor….

My dear respect brother….
I don’t mean to be rude
I don’t mean to teach you something
All what I do just trying to convey the messages….
I believe you more than strong to accept the more sharp criticize
You are a man….
InshaAllah the seed for the glory of Ummah…..

Wallahualam bishshowab…..


To be continues inshaAllah

~Worse than thirty-six of zina: like a man commit incest with his mother ~

Sister in Islam says:
There were 2 proposals at the day of my brother’s wedding
Sister in Islam says:
But all rejected
Rytha says:
Why?
Sister in Islam says:
Coz he works in a bank
Rytha says:
Why you refuse the one who work in bank?
Sister in Islam says:
Coz it is a bank deal with riba
Sister in Islam says:
So his money is haram, Actually I know what bank he works in
Sister in Islam says:
I know it is riba
Rytha says:
Then it's different thing
Sister in Islam says:
U know, when his mother called to ask mother about me
Sister in Islam says:
Mother told her for what I rejected
Sister in Islam says:
She said: “yes I understand even his aunty don't take his gifts to her coz it is from riba bank money”
Rytha says:
mashaAllah your people really careful about these things , subhanallah
Rytha says:
May Allah give you best sis
Sister in Islam says:
Sis, it is haram food, cloth, living u r talking about, not anything
Rytha says:
yes, I understand sis....
Sister in Islam says:
alhmdolilah sis the right one will come one time
Rytha says:
insyaAllah


That conversation took place some years ago.

May Allah subhana wata’ala bless and protect this sister and her family. May Allah reward her persistent for care the purity of her life and steadfast in her deen.

Nowadays, the matter of ribaa (usury) is something very common, touch to the most of our life aspect.

It’s very rare to find someone like her who steadfast to care her deen. I do know very much how much she wished to get married in soon but the matter of deen is not something to be compromised. That what a real Moslem should do, she can’t throw her belief for comfort luxurious life even she knew a man who works in bank usually earns very good salary. It’s a guaranty for a comfort luxurious life, a grant he can fulfill all worldly desire.

Alhamdulillah she is so many patience to wait the right person.

Once she made the wrong decision, It will affect not only her world life but also her hereafter life, not only about her life but also the life of her children. What will be the children who grow from haram money? Haram money that will convert to be their bloods, minds, heart, all our children’s organs, intact to them forever …...Flesh that grows from haram money will not free from the hell fire… na’uzubillah

There will be no chance to get the pious sprouts that will make do’a for their parents. Consume haram wealth prevent their du’aa be answered[1] . What will be our life if our du’a not be answered by Allah, we need to make du’a all time, our life full with du’a start from we wake up in the morning until we ready to close of our eyes….

It’s impossible to seek the blessing and the mercy of Allah. Allah is good and only accepts that which is good. Wallahualam…

Do we really think about ribaa in these days? Ribaa become too common and be the part of our daily system. Many Moslem accept to fall easily to this system without feel anything, not hesitate to fall into ribaa transaction as if the sin is so light, because it something very common….

Does the riba really that light ?

We often feel so much disgust when we find someone commit zina… but we don’t feel anything when we see someone commit ribaa.

Ikhwah fillah…… Rasulullah salalallahu alahi wassalam said “A dirham which a man consumes as ribaa knowingly is worse before Allaah than thirty-six acts of zina.” [2] In another narration Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam describe that : “There are seventy-two types of riba, the least of which is like a man committing incest with his mother.” [3]

Rasulullah sallahu ahaihi wassalam warned us ribaa is one the seven big sins that doom someone to the Hell… na’uzubillah…. It’s in the same class of shirk and killer. [4]

Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika….

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam inform us someone who consume riba will stand in a river of blood; try to move from that river. But there is a man on the other bank of the river with stones, that man will throw a tones in his mouth and he will go back to were he had been… [5]

Allah subhana wata’ala says someone who eat riba will not stand on the Day of resurrection except like the standing of a person beaten by shaytaan (Satan) leading him to insanity [6]

Na’uzubillah….

InshaAllah we are in journey to be a true believer, a true sincere believer will not feel comfort after hear the reminder from Allah and His Messenger. We have to afraid from the wrath of Allah.

Allah subhana wata’ala says “O you who believe! Be afraid of Allaah and give up what remains (due to you) from Riba” [7]

It’s indeed a test in our time to be patience to not fall in this sin. There are so many temptations and the shaytan keep whispering to create the reasons to trap us into this sins. The evils may say if we can’t take loan from ribaa bank, then we will not able to have a house soon….

Some people may think this as the condition of darurat (urgent) situation.

Can we afford to rent house that free from ribaa?

Should we have car with interest loans?
Should all of us have credit card?
Do we need join all kind of insurances?

Is that something bother if until the rest of life we cant own any house, car, credit card, insurance but die in the state Allah please with us ?

However we should not have all what we want, especially if what we want can make us slip from the way that may displease Allah…. There are already so many things that we can’t avoid that make us involve in system that displease Allah, we shouldn’t add more sins with sins that consciously, deliberately we fall to them…. Na’uzubillah..

We have to be careful to watch our steps. Some may think, it’s only them who ask interest who is sinned. Rasulullah salallahu alahi wassalam cursed the one who consumes riba, the one who pays it, the one who records it and the two who witness it, and he said: “They are all the same.” [8] They are all equal in sin.

Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam said " There will come a day where a Muslim holding fast to his deen (religion) is like he who is gripping a hot coal" [9].

InshaAllah We should try to be taqwa the maximum thing that we can. Every Muslim has to implement Islamic law, with all possible means, in all affairs inshaAllah in accordance with a verse of Qur’an that we often recite in our prayer :

“My prayer, my sacrifice, my life and my death are for Allah".

Wallahualam bishshowab

Rytha
Batam 19 March 2007

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[1] Rasulullah sallahu alahi wassalam mentioned about a man who has traveled on a long journey and is disheveled and covered with dust; he stretches forth his hands to the heaven, (saying) “O Lord, O Lord”, but his food is haraam, his drink is haraam, all his nourishment is haraam, so how can he du’aa’ be accepted?” Narrated by Muslim.
[2] Narrated by Ahmad and al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 3375.
[3] Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 3537.
[4] It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid the seven sins that doom a person to Hell.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, what are they? He said: “Shirk (associating others with Allaah), witchcraft, killing a soul whom Allaah has forbidden us to kill, expect in cases determined by Islamic law, consuming riba, consuming orphans’ wealth, running away from the battle field, and slandering chaste, innocent believing women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2615; Muslim, 89.
[5] It was narrated that Samurah ibn Jundub (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Last night I saw two men who came to me and took me out to a holy land. We set out until we came to a river of blood in which a man was standing, and on the bank of the river there was a man with stones in front of him. The man who was in the river came and wanted to get out, but the other man threw a stone in his mouth and he went back to where he had been. Every time he wanted to get out, he threw a stone in his mouth and he went back to where he had been. I said, ‘What is this?’ He said: ‘The one whom you saw in the river is the one who consumed riba.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1979
[6] “Those who eat Ribaa will not stand (on the Day of Resurrection) except like the standing of a person beaten by Shaytaan (Satan) leading him to insanity. That is because they say: “Trading is only like Riba,” whereas Allaah has permitted trading and forbidden Riba. So whosoever receives an admonition from his Lord and stops eating Riba, shall not be punished for the past; his case is for Allaah (to judge); but whoever returns (to Riba), such are the dwellers of the Fire — they will abide therein” Qur’an : Al-Baqarah 2:275
[7] Qur’an al-Baqarah 2:278
[8] Narrated by Muslim, 1598
[9] Al-Tirmidhi, sahih

~A Night Before Ramadan~

A friend came to visit, few days before Ramadan. That was exactly the 100th days she lost her husband, so tragic, a sudden calamity happened just few months after she lost her new born baby. I spent whole night with her… engaged in conversation like haven’t met for ages….

Carefully I tried to not mention his name, not lead her to anything that can bring back his memories…I wanted to keep and cover him away from her mind…..

We talked about books but that made her remember a book gifted from our close friend. She said : “He loved that book, that was his favorite book, he read it anywhere, in the house, in the car….I didn’t really interest to read before….but after he gone I curious to read it…. No wonder he loved it…. “

She said it with calm expressions.

I was mistake, she shouldn’t forget him. He was half of her soul, someone who ever place a special place in her heart, his memory may the best part in her life that she wants always remember….

Anytime she mentioned his name, somehow my heart bleeding…, …. She is so strong. She still like 3 years ago when we separated in graduation day. Her smiles still same like when I attended her wedding days….

She still like high school girl… I kidded her how she could manage people and meet the clients who twice taller and bigger than her.. She does… She always confidence… That’s tinny lady flight thousands miles to bring back her husband in coffin. Maybe that the only day I saw she crying…

Her patience and strength slap me who was even couldn’t believe my dear friend have to be a widow in such young age… it was so bitter mixed with angry how could he left her so fast to feel short time happiness…astaghfirullah wa atbu ilaika…

Life seem so smooth, graduated, get great job, married very nice man … having house….car… Indeed To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return … He will take anytime He wishes…

If only I could smiles lightly like she did…

I wanted to see her heart, see the pains which she covered with her smiles… She came to visit all her friends… to shared her smiles….Did she smiles just to make us happy to know she is fine…she is Ok,… She will survive…? wallahualam

Crying over calamity is natural..
But keep smiling to the destiny of Allah
To accept it patiently, sincerely
Really the highest state of submission to the will of Allah
The highest submission to every best trust
The totality of faith and trust to the best

Indeed her visit… a night that I spent is a wonderful gift from Allah…. To a reflections.. Pondering in this blessed Ramadhan…

Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. to Us must ye return. [Qur’an 21:35]
Lahaulla walla quwata illa billah...

Rytha

Bandung, 20 October 2005