Thursday, May 10, 2007

~Expect & respect your Wife jealousy Part 1~

Assallammu’alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh

My dearest husband Ahmad….

I am sorry to make you worry for my silent in these days…. I know my silent make you worry and wondering what happening with me… Please don’t worry dear…. I just need time to think…..

After thinking in these few days I now completely understand why you keep your relationship with some sisters after our marriage. You must have bored that I hint you to discuss about this topic for some times…

I understand now, your relationship with these sisters mean nothing. Just like you have told me so many times that they are nothing, I am the only one in your heart and I don’t need to feel jealousy. Your love to me just can’t compare to them…. Your relationship with them is just merely as brother and sister. I shouldn’t suspect anything bad. They keep in touch with you just for your advice and assistance because you are their learned and wise brother in Islam. You are their good wise, hardly to lost a good advisor like you….

Well, you know very much that I trust you and never think bad about whatever your do.

Dear….I completely understands now why you still keep your ex-fiancé name in your buddy list and why you keep answer or email her sometimes. I know my pious husband must only just try to keep the silaturrahim and maintain a good relationship with his sister in Islam and her family….

MashaAllah she really has very beautiful unique name, it’s silly I felt jealousy when you gave her name for your little sister. I feel stupid why I just realize although I have seen her name so many times on your mailbox and on your messenger list.

However she is learned muslimah…mashaAllah… she has some links with respectable sheikh from outstanding institution. She must have so many literatures to share, a very smart sister who have huge knowledge….That must give so many advantage to keep maintain relationship with her just in case you need her help in future….She must be very good buddy to discus and help you to solve some difficult Islamic fiqih matter…..

By the way…. I also understand why you told me many times that you loved her truly. However she was almost being your wife. I should understand that must be truly difficult to forget. Well we hardly to forget good people, especially that person ever been part of our life.

I shouldn’t complain anything…..the otherwise I should be very grateful my husband trust me and share me his deepest feelings. I understand dear…it’s so difficult when we really love someone but then things go to other direction…. It’s qadarullah honey…….


It makes me think… I am very bad muslimah, a very bad sister in Islam. I have hurt so many brothers. I have been refusing so many brothers who try to make relationship with me. You know dear… they are actually very sincere brothers…. Most of them were very nice; they interest to study about Islam more mashaAllah. I even said to my male friends that I would never talk with them anymore, especially through messenger.

Some of them were very sad …. They said I am their good advisor, they begged me to keep talk to them just purely as brother and sister in Islam and having innocent talk now and then…. Some of them so much adore me…. Please don’t mistaken dear, they just adore of my good quality as friends, as sister….

I think now.... I have to contact each of them … and welcome them again…. I know you will not think bad, you know me.. and you trust me I must just talk with them for the sake of brotherhood and dakwah… Well we trust each other so much… right honey?

I can only talk with them when you are working outside…. So that I still can give my fully attention for you when you are at home, I will not talk with them when you at home. You sometimes work so hard and spend a lot of time outside dear…. So I guess I have to do something benefit to fill my time, to do da’wah for these brothers while waiting you back home from work...….

Anyway dear…. … we only talk in messenger.. They can’t see my face…. I knew one brother, he was so witty. He used to throw some jokes… Actually I enjoy talking with him [just as friend honey], previously we only just friend and I will assure you it will remain like that…Please don’t worry honey… He can’t see if I smiles sweetly for him, he only just see bold yellow smiley icon on messenger… I swear that you the only one who can see my sweet smiles….

By the way dear… Do you remember about my ex- fiancé? You do love his name, right? You even remember his name completely …. Isn’t it a very good idea if I am going to give my ex fiancé name for our baby… mashaAllah ..

InshaAllah we are going to have baby boy after one month but we still haven’t found good name for him….God bless me… why this brilliant idea just come up now……How could I didn’t realize he has very good name. I just made some research on Google…. It has very beautiful meaning dear…. You must love it dear..…

I can imagine we call our baby with his name everyday….. That will make me remember him at anytime I see my son…Well it’s not something wrong to keep remembering good people…right dear? Please don’t bother about it… you do know very well that you the only one in my heart……

Right now… I am crying to think how cruel I am… Maybe this is the biggest mistake cut all my communiqué with him… You know how cruel I am.. I never answered his calls…I never replied his text messages……I ignored all his emails….I even stopped to talk with anyone who related to him……How could I do that….. He is not bad man actually, he is a hafidz, and he used to study in Islamic university. Astaghfirullah I don’t know why I could be that cruel….

I think he just wants to keep friendship with me as brother and sister in Islam…It absolutely nothing wrong to keep maintain the brotherhood even if the engagement was called off…..

Anyway… I will apologize to him for my childish behavior …. Actually I never hate my brother in Islam… but I thought it what I should do as muslimah to guard the ghirah of my future husband…. Well I understand now… it not actually like that… it doesn’t matter anymore as our marriage based on so much trust and understanding….

It sounds very good idea if I keep following his life now... Silly me.. I even don’t know anything about him now…I don’t know if he married or not, happy or not…. I don’t know if his parents still remember me, what they think about me now……. Strange I don’t know about him in fact we ever almost married before….He and his family must miss to hear about me a lot…. Maybe I have to call them sometimes…. Mmmm maybe at least I should call them on EID day….

You know dear I just realize how important we have link with learn people…. He also has many connections with some religious people, he knows some sheikh personally [well he was an Islamic student]…. You know how much I thirst of knowledge and want always learn a lot. I can ask him some questions when you are so busy to answer my questions… He will be so much helpfull.

He also from high status family, with so many respectable colleagues, and well known politician family, must know many famous people too… Even I read in newspaper his uncle just won the election….mashaAllah Isn’t that great dear?……He maybe can help us much in the future… Well we don’t know what kind help that we need… So for now I have to keep sweet when talk with him [of course strictly in the Islamic manner] . I will show my regret how I have ignored him this long….

Better I am in hurry now to reconciling with all these broken relationships…..

Thanks dear for make me think and help me to get back my awareness…. …….
Don’t worry dear… I will make you know all of them…well you let me know all your females friends… I also will do the same… We do understanding and trust each other so much…

Take care honey ….

With much of love
Your Wife

I am just kidding honey…
I am just trying to put you in my shoes….so you can feel what I feel clearly
Can you understand my feeling now dear?

To be Continue InshaAllah .......

Batam 7 May 2007
Rytha N

~For all My Dear brothers and My Dear sisters part 2~

Part I I

My dear sisters….
Allah gifts a lot of special blessings…
Allah trusts you to carry “rahim” [womb]…
That makes your nature different…
Makes you full of affection,
Your touch is tenderness,
You smile is sweetness..
You are an amazing beautiful creation
You are a charming creation
Your graceful movement
Your “killing” smiles

You are beautiful
Always beautiful
You are sweet
Always sweet
You are unique…
With your own way…
You are always special…
You are attractive no matter how you look like’


You are a real temptation for your fellow brothers….
You will be
You will always be ….
Like it or dislike it
Even if you never intend to
Even if you never plan to
They will fall on your laps…

My dear sisters….
I know some of you are very strict [in real]
I know you are trying always to be a real muslimah
Who love Qur’an wa sunnah
But easy to get carry away [on net]

My dear sincere sisters….
Please think over this

Would you mix and talk that free with all those guys in person?
Would you crack those "Islamic jokes" with those guys in person?
Remember of those *LOLs*….*awwwww*……”wwoooowww”….
Would you do really express that way if you met those guys in person?

Would you feel comfortable spending so much time with these guys in person?
Are you comfortable….?
Extremely comfortable…..?
VERY comfortable…….?

My dear sisters…..
Will a good brother waste their time just for talk?
Will a good brother share you every single thing?

Do you like if your husband shares their secret with another woman?
Do you like if your husband shares their joke with another woman?

My dear sisters
Don’t flower your mind to think you are the only woman he talks with
You probably one in hundreds….
Don’t feel as someone special
You the one who make yourself special
Don’t nurture those feelings…
They may sweet but for nothing….
They act same with hundreds of his female buddies…

They just try to be polite…
They just try to be nice…
They just try to be gentle….
They just try to help
They just try to care your feelings…
They just do not want to hurt you…
They just try to convey messages…

They wish you could understand yourself
They wish you could away without they say things…
They wish soon you would know your limit
They wish you soon gain your consciousness
They wish you know when you should stop yourself…

My Dear sisters…
They may say they NEVER talk with woman [AT ALL]…
You surprise
You do feel so special
You feel be the Only ONE
You feel so lucky on earth…

Please …….Be smart!!!

Is he from Mars?
Is he living outer space… is he an alien… ?
Is living in the middle of no where…?
Didn’t he ever go outside…?

Ok perhaps He does Never…..


Perhaps He is not sociable person
Perhaps He is an awkward person
Perhaps He has problem in interpersonal skill…
Perhaps He indifferent with his fellow sisters…
Perhaps He not a sensitive person
Perhaps He perhaps type of man who will run away even if saw his fellow sister being abuse…
Perhaps He perhaps type of man who will avoid passing his fellow sisters who need help…


He is a big big liar……!!!

Be rational

Don’t make your feelings overwhelm you
Don’t make your feelings dominate your rationality,…

Oh My dear sisters..
I don’t mean to destroy you romantic dream about him…
I don’t mean to tarnish your sweet perception about him…..
I might be wrong…
Perhaps he is indeed not one what I have been listed above,…
But you have to know
The probability could be 1 in billions

My dear sweet sisters,…
Please open your heart
Please open your eyes…
Those rarest pearls …really rare breed….
They will not appear in every places…

If they have good intention over you
If they are really a real mu’min
They will know the rules…
They will know the way…
They will be a responsible person
They will not abuse their faith by justification their action
They will not play with a sacred sunnah
Just to take chance to talk with you in person…

My dear sisters…
A real pearl doesn’t need light to make it shining
A sun doesn’t need heater to make it warm
Oceans do not need salt to make it salty…
They are shining themselves…
The light… the salt … already be part of them…
They will keep shining even if buried in the deepest oncean
They are precious without advertisement,…
That also….. a real mu’min…
A wa’ra…tawadhu… mu’min
Will not use their quality just for the sake to make you fall on his laps…
They perhaps did same way to crush other heart…

My Dear sisters…
There are many who love to talk
But they do not really understand what they talk
There are many who will offer you proposal
But they actually do not understand what it is
They do not have idea how sacred it is
Go challenge them with real actions
Go challenge them to be real gentlemen
You will know for real…

Do they say they never have girl friends…
It doesn’t mean they know the religion
That could be they do not have chance due the culture restriction….

My Dear sisters….
You may say you are confidence
You may say you know the limit
You may say you will always try to be stern
You may say you are a strong person
You may say you will lead the flow

But my dear…
For how long?

My Dear sisters
It’s not only about you
But you deal with other heart
With other mind
Their heart, their mind …. out of your control
You perhaps could confidence about your strength
But you never able to control their strength
You never able to set what they should feel about you
You cant stop them to in love with you…
You cant tell them please do not think about you…
You cant ask them please stop adore you…

My dear sisters…
You never know what inside their brain…
If only they could accept your smile just same as those bold yellow icon…

My Dear sisters….
Please help those fellow brothers….
You not only responsible to care your own soul
But also …please do not put yourself as a temptation
You should not make yourself become a disease in one’s heart
You couldn’t say you never intend to…
You couldn’t say that not your fault…

Please be honest…

My Dear sisters….
The number of man who get crush on you ..
It not always reflects how good you are…
That not something nice to boast proudly…
It perhaps shows…. something wrong in you…
That could be a sign of your near failure
That could be a real destruction…

My Dear sisters…
You heart by nature so soft..

My Dear sisters….
See….those massive hard stones….
If it was fallen by just “a drop water” continuously
It would leave “a big hole”
Lets alone your tender heart…it would be “a huge” hole….

You never know when your iman down…
You never know when you are weak
But syaitan will be there patiently waiting your failure…

A small sin will create a black spot in your white heart
Finally it will turn become black
It will make your heart death
You will never able to find the way back….

Prevention always better than curing…
Better to away from trap in complication…

You may say that you only talk with good ones…
Remember good brother will be temptation for good sister
You will be temptation for good brother…

My dear sisters….
At times you start any relationship
Please take a thought
Where things would lead you
A real Moslem will never do something without a clear intention…
Allah will count your intention….
A real Moslem should know what will be the destination
Will you be his chat email friend forever….?
Share things forever?
Tell every single thing forever?
He knows what you do from 4 am to 4 pm…?
He knows what you do from Sunday to Sunday… ?

My dear sisters
The more you involve
The more your close
The more you will not able to leave
The more you will not able to stop

You heart so soft..
You are so nice
You will think thousand things
You afraid to offend him
You afraid make him cry
You afraid destroy his life
You afraid he commits suicide
You afraid he will go astray
You think he will not able live without you…

The syaithan will be happy…
They will clap their hands
If their legs could clap… They would clap too
New victims come to the circle…

You flower your minds
With all those sentimental feelings…
You will suffer and suffer not able run from the circle…
Dear Trust me…. They will not do that
If they do….. that irrefutable prove…. how stupid he is…
Do you want to end up you life with a stupid one?

My Dear sisters…
The constant interaction…
Will lead you in confusion
not able to compare between pity…sympathy… and love…

My Dear young sisters
Sometimes you just try to be polite…
You try to care a good manner…
But response not always what you hope…
You are in global villages
You should learn the global languages…
You should understand the global gesture…
You should able to deal with so many heads

If you have tried your best
If you have done your duty
You should find the way for safe your faith
You do not have any responsibility anymore
You have done what you should do
You are not cruel…
The otherwise you save his soul sooner

My Dear sisters….
Remember Allah watch over you…
Allah know even the deepest of you heart
You know the best who are you
You know the best what your doing
You know the best your capacity

You do really discuss your deen?
You do sincerely to invite people to your deen ?


Why you busy keep on till the late of night
Where is time for talk with your Lord
How you lost your precious private time with Lord
If you sleep 3 am 2 am… 4 am… where you would sleep
How you lost the precious the last 1/3rd night
When Allah comes closer to you
When you build inside strong spiritually

My Dear sisters…
Do you know What Google, AltaVista, yahoo, for?
Do you know thousands Islamic website available?
Do you know thousands Islamic Scholar available?
Please, you do use them maximally …
Before jump talking to any man, even if in the pretext of learning…
You do have a bunch of females’ buddies…
Please, go to them to share and study…
You do not worry if you act like a stupid…
You may express yourself freely…
You can be a sweet as you like

My Dear sisters…
May Allah make you be great wife like Khadijah bin khwalid ra
May Allah help you to be a great mother like Fatimah binti Muhammad…
May Allah make you be great scholar like Aisyah binti Abu Bakar ra
May Allah make you practice a great patience like Ashiah ra
May Allah help you to observe ghirah
and take care your husband heart like Asma binti abu Bakar
May Allah help you to as smart as Queen Balqis
as wise as Ummu Sulaim …
InshaAllah you are as beautiful as Attikah who companied all her husband as a syuhada…

Wallahualam bishshowab…..

Oh my Dear Lord…
You know very best what lies inside my heart,
You know best how sinner this soul…
You know best what hidden ….what conceal,

My Dear Lord
Please save me first from all the hypocrisy

My Dear Lord
Give me the tawfiq to follow what I have said

My Dear Lord,…
Give me from the blaze of your hell flame…

Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika
Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika
Astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika

Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin
Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin
Alhamdulillahirrobbil alamin

Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika
Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika
Subhanakallahumma wabihamdika ashadu ala ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaika

Bandung, 12 May 2005

~For all My Dear brothers and My Dear sisters part 1~

This is an old wrting.... I thought good to share...

Dear Akhwat wa Ikhwah fillah

Assallammu'alaikum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh....

I have restrained myself to not write about this topic personally. But this matter has been killing my heart and my souls many times…… astaghfirullah… I was angry a lot of time [especially with myself] due of my disability to convey the messages. But how could I say I love you for the sake of Allah if I don’t able to convey the truth…

Please consider them as my sincere effort to do my responsibility and to fulfill your right in the process doing amar ma’ruf nahi munkar…

Bandung, 12 May 2005

Something which basically is permissible… but if the user are not responsible could lead to much destruction…

I might write so many mistake… those mistake from my shallowness…. please forgive ..

But all the truth from Allah …

The first part is for brothers…the second part is for sisters….

Part I

“My dear brother”
Who are you in your real life
What are in your real life…

You may say you are a real modest man,
Who care your gaze,
You may say you are a real gentleman
With beard…

People may say you are a real cool mu’min
People may say you are a real practicing man
People may say you are like scholar man
People may say you are respectable man
People may say they adore you as a real gentleman…

Be like that also on the net

If declared you never talk with woman in your real life..
Please don’t justify your interaction on the net

Al least
Please be consistent with what your belief…

Saying never talked with non maharam even more than 1 minute
But turn become a real chatter box
Spending hours chat with non mahram
Sharing every single detail
Comment every single thing

Please don’t be too sweet
Act as if a charming prince
Leaving poison into many hearts
Playing with other emotion

Please keep your charm to your wife [to be]
Please keep your jokes for your wife [to be]

Some of you were very knowledgeable people
A Da’wah worker
Respectable people

Remember Allah knows best what lies inside your heart’
Allah knows of the tricks that deceive with the eyes,
Allah knows all that the hearts (of men) conceal.

Don’t abuse the Qur’an wa Sunnah
Don’t use them to product fatwa to support your lust
Don’t use them to justify your actions

You do feel comfort because you shouldn’t face her
You feel comfort because she doesn’t see you
You think there is massive wall between you and her

There is distance between you and her
Have you found any scholars make a new definition of hijab?

The adultery of the eyes is the sight,
The adultery of the tongue is the talk,
The adultery of heart is imagination
The private parts testify all this or deny it

Be honest…..
What hijab you put between your hearts?
What hijab you put to control your mind?
You know best what lays both inside….

Is that just a simple screen?…
Is that just text?….

Don’t you know
You are talking with a real human being…
They are a real human being with heart,
They were created with bones…. flesh….blood
They have right to be respected
They have right to be treated like human being
They are not toys to play with
To filling your spare time
To be part of your adventure
To kill your loneliness…
To be part of your experience…
To be part of your wild inspiration…

Marriage is a scared things..
Please don’t use that “magic” word to trap sincere sister…
Please don’t use that “magic” word to ask their pictures…
Please don’t use that “magic” word to justify your interactions…
In pretext of getting to know each other….

Do you know what mean of that word?
Do you understand what is responsibility?
Do you comprehend every action lead to the consequences ?

Most of time you do not understand the consequences…
You do not know even how to move your fingers…
You will make your heart dirty..
You will make your life complicated…
Never start thing that you never able to responsible…
Never start thing if you do not know what the follow up…
Please act as a real gentleman…
Please do learn how to do the right process…

You do know how to fall in love
But do not know what you should do with that love

Life already hard
Don’t play with the fire
Don’t play with things that out of your control…

Go learn the Qur’an
Go read the tafsir
Go read the sunnah
Go read the syarah
Go read the syirah…

But please do not use the religion to fit your desire…

You were born and raised with some values
Don’t make “internet” as a facility to break those values…

Be consistent…. Be consistent…

Some of you belong to family/culture detest girl talk with man
You even will not tolerant if you find your young sister talk with guy on net
You forbid your woman to talk with man.

Since you were born
You have created what is a perfect girl in your mind
One who never talk with man…
The pure one….
The innocent ….
The untouchable…
With the virgin heart….


That really inconsistent…. if
Your actions created impurity to other heart
Your sweet words destroy innocents’ heart
You fill so many hopes inside one’s heart….

Then you abandon her

You spent time with someone that you do not want to end up
You know at the first place not fit with your type
They do not fit you value
You spend hours being close but you consider them just nothing

You think
You can go and come anytime in your idle times
No need think about responsibility
You may escape anytime
You may run anytime
You are unreachable…
You are untouchable…
You are safe….

You may just simple start you life with new one
Another sweet innocent that had been set up

Don’t you know..
You might broke one innocent heart
That heart might bleeding for the rest of her life

Sleep tightly
Enjoy your life
Beside your beauty wife
But remember you will meet your lord in hereafter
You will meet her in hereafter drag you to the flame of hell fire…

Some of you are married…
Tease and play around with young girl
Are you searching inspiration?
Do you need to refresh your old soul with the spirit of young?

Saying never loves your wife….
Saying never feels any happiness from the day one
Wondering….. How you made she pregnant…

You are man with a lot experience
You know all the tricks
You know how to grasp their heart
You how tame those pure gems

What actually you want?
What do you want from them?
Don’t you know the consequences what you do?
Don’t you think about your wife?
Don’t you think how she feel if she finds you chat around, tease around with girl?

Please go look yourself in front of mirror
See those gray hairs
Remember your doom
See your young daughter
Look at your dear young blood sisters
Do you like if man treats them like the way you treat these young sisters?

Can’t you see a woman just like a simple sister?
As simple young sister
As simple young daughter
who need your advice
who need your protection
who need simple respect

Act as an uncle
Act like as big brother
Act like their father…
Please do not chase to them always
To be your forth wife…

You hide your real name
Your real location
You want to hide from people
If you make wrong …you still safe your reputation


My Dear brothers
Where is the responsible gone?
Where is the shame gone?
Is that what said as the best ummah ?

If Umar still alive he would hit your head with his stick
He might behead you with his sword

You are a qowam
Allah raise you higher with that title..
To carry more responsibility
There are huge responsibilities on your shoulder
You are our hope to revive the ummah

You responsible to care you sisters
You should protect them
Not act like a wolf who ready to eat them
Not act like a evil who ready to trapped them
Not act like a devil who will ready to mislead them
Not act like a “bastard” who destroys their life…

Give them space…
Instead giving insecure feeling
They always alert with your presence
They try to hide their gender
They have to lie about their status
They hesitate to speak
They hesitate to contribute

Don’t teach them more how to hide
Don’t put them in condition to be an expert liar
In the sake of protection

What do you feel?
Didn’t that click you something?
Dint that lower your dignity?
How could you become that low?
Your fellow sisters should protect themselves that way…
Didn’t you feel like a harm contagious disease?

Young brothers…
Please utilize your time…
Instead monitoring women’s Id
The responsibility in your shoulder is bigger…

Remember Muhammad Al Fatih Murad
Remember Usamah bin Zaid
Remember Abdullah bin Zubair
Remember all your great predecessors..

They conquered Rome
They conquered Persian
They conquered Constantinople

Shame of you
All in your mind just about conquer girls…

Think what you contribute for the ummah
What you have done for Islam….
Learn their life journey
Follow their trait….

We should build a health environment
Apply the real teaching of Qur’an wa Sunnah
No suspicious
No envious
Taking care each other
Join in good
Forbid in evil
Protect each other dignity and the honor….

My dear respect brother….
I don’t mean to be rude
I don’t mean to teach you something
All what I do just trying to convey the messages….
I believe you more than strong to accept the more sharp criticize
You are a man….
InshaAllah the seed for the glory of Ummah…..

Wallahualam bishshowab…..

To be continues inshaAllah